Jeremiah Chapter 13
God was like, "Yo, go snag a linen belt and wear it, but don’t soak it in water, fr."
Thus saith the LORD unto me, Go and get thee a linen girdle, and put it upon thy loins, and put it not in water.
So I grabbed the belt just like God said and put it on, no cap.
So I got a girdle according to the word of the LORD, and put {it} on my loins.
Then God hit me up again, saying,
And the word of the LORD came unto me the second time, saying,
"Bounce over to Euphrates, and stash that belt in a rock crevice."
Take the girdle that thou hast got, which {is} upon thy loins, and arise, go to Euphrates, and hide it there in a hole of the rock.
So I dipped and hid it by Euphrates, just like the Lord told me to.
So I went, and hid it by Euphrates, as the LORD commanded me.
After a minute, God was like, "Get up, head to Euphrates, and dig up that belt I told you to stash."
And it came to pass after many days, that the LORD said unto me, Arise, go to Euphrates, and take the girdle from thence, which I commanded thee to hide there.
I hit Euphrates, unearthed it, and the belt was trashed, completely useless.
Then I went to Euphrates, and digged, and took the girdle from the place where I had hid it: and, behold, the girdle was marred, it was profitable for nothing.
Then God dropped another message on me, saying,
Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,
"Peep this, I’m about to wreck the pride of Judah and the flex of Jerusalem."
Thus saith the LORD, After this manner will I mar the pride of Judah, and the great pride of Jerusalem.
This whack crew that won’t vibe with my words, chasing their own waves and other gods, they’re gonna be like this useless belt, straight up worthless.
This evil people, which refuse to hear my words, which walk in the imagination of their heart, and walk after other gods, to serve them, and to worship them, shall even be as this girdle, which is good for nothing. {imagination: or, stubbornness}
Just as a belt hugs a dude, I’ve got the entire squad of Israel and Judah feeling me, says the Lord; they’re supposed to be my people, my name, my praise, and my glory, but they’re not listening, fr.
For as the girdle cleaveth to the loins of a man, so have I caused to cleave unto me the whole house of Israel and the whole house of Judah, saith the LORD; that they might be unto me for a people, and for a name, and for a praise, and for a glory: but they would not hear.
So you need to drop this message on them: The Lord God of Israel is saying, every bottle’s gonna be filled with wine, and they’ll be like, “Do we not know every bottle’s gonna be filled with wine?”
Therefore thou shalt speak unto them this word; Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, Every bottle shall be filled with wine: and they shall say unto thee, Do we not certainly know that every bottle shall be filled with wine?
Then you tell them, the Lord's on this: I’m gonna fill everyone in this land, even the kings on David’s throne, the priests, the prophets, and all the peeps in Jerusalem, with that lit drunkenness.
Then shalt thou say unto them, Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will fill all the inhabitants of this land, even the kings that sit upon David's throne, and the priests, and the prophets, and all the inhabitants of Jerusalem, with drunkenness.
And I’ll have them clash like a family reunion, fathers and sons together, says the Lord: I won’t show mercy, just straight destruction, no cap.
And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them. {one...: Heb. a man against his brother} {but...: Heb. from destroying them}
Yo, listen up and focus; don’t act all proud: the Lord has spoken, periodt.
Hear ye, and give ear; be not proud: for the LORD hath spoken.
Show mad respect to the Lord your God before darkness drops and you trip on the dark mountains, and while you’re looking for light, He turns it into the shadow of death, making it pure dark.
Give glory to the LORD your God, before he cause darkness, and before your feet stumble upon the dark mountains, and, while ye look for light, he turn it into the shadow of death, {and} make {it} gross darkness.
But if you ignore this, my soul's gonna cry in secret for your pride; my eyes will shed tears because the Lord’s flock is getting taken away, that's savage.
But if ye will not hear it, my soul shall weep in secret places for {your} pride; and mine eye shall weep sore, and run down with tears, because the LORD'S flock is carried away captive.
Tell the king and queen to chill and take a seat: your power’s about to drop, even the crown of your glory.
Say unto the king and to the queen, Humble yourselves, sit down: for your principalities shall come down, {even} the crown of your glory. {principalities: or, head tires}
The cities in the south are shut tight, nobody’s opening them: Judah’s about to get snatched away, all of it, no doubt.
The cities of the south shall be shut up, and none shall open {them}: Judah shall be carried away captive all of it, it shall be wholly carried away captive.
Look up and see who’s rolling in from the north: where’s the flock that was given to you, your stunning flock?
Lift up your eyes, and behold them that come from the north: where {is} the flock {that} was given thee, thy beautiful flock?
What you gonna say when He comes for that punishment? You raised them to flex as leaders, so are you ready for the feels, like a girl in labor?
What wilt thou say when he shall punish thee? for thou hast taught them {to be} captains, {and} as chief over thee: shall not sorrows take thee, as a woman in travail? {punish: Heb visit upon}
And if you’re thinking, “Why is this happening to me?” Just know your wrongs are out in the open, and you’re left exposed.
And if thou say in thine heart, Wherefore come these things upon me? For the greatness of thine iniquity are thy skirts discovered, {and} thy heels made bare. {made...: or, shall be violently taken away}
Can an Ethiopian switch up his skin, or a leopard change its spots? Then maybe you can do good too, but you’re used to being sus.
Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? {then} may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil. {accustomed: Heb. taught}
So I’m gonna scatter them like chaff blown away by the desert wind.
Therefore will I scatter them as the stubble that passeth away by the wind of the wilderness.
This is your lot, the piece of pie I’m handing you, says the Lord; because you’ve ghosted me and trusted the fake.
This {is} thy lot, the portion of thy measures from me, saith the LORD; because thou hast forgotten me, and trusted in falsehood.
So I’m gonna expose your shame right in your face, so everyone sees it.
Therefore will I discover thy skirts upon thy face, that thy shame may appear.
I’ve peeped your cheating, your wild vibes, the craziness of your unfaithfulness, and all your nasty stuff on the hills. Woe to you, Jerusalem! When are you gonna get it together?
I have seen thine adulteries, and thy neighings, the lewdness of thy whoredom, {and} thine abominations on the hills in the fields. Woe unto thee, O Jerusalem! wilt thou not be made clean? when {shall it} once {be}? {when...: Heb. after when yet?}