2 Samuel Chapter 8
So David went and completely wiped out the Philistines, taking Metheg–ammah like a total boss.
And after this it came to pass, that David smote the Philistines, and subdued them: and David took Methegammah out of the hand of the Philistines. {Methegammah: or, the bridle of Ammah}
He also demolished Moab, measuring them out like a champ, sending some to the ground while letting others live. The Moabites were all like, 'We’re your fam now,' showing up with gifts and everything.
And he smote Moab, and measured them with a line, casting them down to the ground; even with two lines measured he to put to death, and with one full line to keep alive. And {so} the Moabites became David's servants, {and} brought gifts.
David also took down Hadadezer, the king of Zobah, while he was out here reclaiming his territory by the Euphrates.
David smote also Hadadezer, the son of Rehob, king of Zobah, as he went to recover his border at the river Euphrates. {Hadadezer: or, Hadarezer}
David scored a thousand chariots, seven hundred horsemen, and twenty thousand foot soldiers, but he eliminated all the chariot horses except for a hundred.
And David took from him a thousand {chariots}, and seven hundred horsemen, and twenty thousand footmen: and David houghed all the chariot {horses}, but reserved of them {for} an hundred chariots. {from...: or, of his chariots}
When the Syrians from Damascus pulled up to back Hadadezer, David was like, 'Not on my watch,' taking out twenty-two thousand of them.
And when the Syrians of Damascus came to succour Hadadezer king of Zobah, David slew of the Syrians two and twenty thousand men.
David set up camps in Damascus, and the Syrians became part of his crew, bringing him gifts. God was keeping David blessed wherever he went.
Then David put garrisons in Syria of Damascus: and the Syrians became servants to David, {and} brought gifts. And the LORD preserved David whithersoever he went.
David grabbed the gold shields from Hadadezer's squad and brought them back to Jerusalem, flexing hard.
And David took the shields of gold that were on the servants of Hadadezer, and brought them to Jerusalem.
From Betah and Berothai, cities belonging to Hadadezer, David scooped up a mountain of brass, acting like it was nothing.
And from Betah, and from Berothai, cities of Hadadezer, king David took exceeding much brass.
When Toi, king of Hamath, peeped that David was taking down Hadadezer's whole crew, he was shook.
When Toi king of Hamath heard that David had smitten all the host of Hadadezer,
Toi sent his son Joram to David to say what’s good and bless him for taking out Hadadezer, who was causing him trouble. Joram rolled in with silver, gold, and brass—major vibes.
Then Toi sent Joram his son unto king David, to salute him, and to bless him, because he had fought against Hadadezer, and smitten him: for Hadadezer had wars with Toi. And {Joram} brought with him vessels of silver, and vessels of gold, and vessels of brass: {Joram: also called, Hadoram} {salute...: Heb. ask him of peace} {had wars...: Heb. was a man of wars with} {brought...: Heb. in his hand were}
David dedicated all that silver and gold to the Lord, representing all the nations he put in check.
Which also king David did dedicate unto the LORD, with the silver and gold that he had dedicated of all nations which he subdued;
Including Syria, Moab, Ammon, Philistines, Amalek, and all the loot from Hadadezer, king of Zobah.
Of Syria, and of Moab, and of the children of Ammon, and of the Philistines, and of Amalek, and of the spoil of Hadadezer, son of Rehob, king of Zobah.
David built up his rep when he came back from smiting the Syrians in the salt valley, taking down eighteen thousand men.
And David gat {him} a name when he returned from smiting of the Syrians in the valley of salt, {being} eighteen thousand {men}. {smiting: Heb. his smiting}
He set up garrisons all over Edom, and everyone there became part of David's crew. God was keeping him safe everywhere he went.
And he put garrisons in Edom; throughout all Edom put he garrisons, and all they of Edom became David's servants. And the LORD preserved David whithersoever he went.
David ruled as king over all Israel, bringing justice and vibes to his people.
And David reigned over all Israel; and David executed judgment and justice unto all his people.
Joab, son of Zeruiah, was running the army, and Jehoshaphat, son of Ahilud, was handling the records.
And Joab the son of Zeruiah {was} over the host; and Jehoshaphat the son of Ahilud {was} recorder; {recorder: or, remembrancer, or, writer of chronicles}
Zadok, son of Ahitub, and Ahimelech, son of Abiathar, were the priests; and Seraiah was the scribe, no cap.
And Zadok the son of Ahitub, and Ahimelech the son of Abiathar, {were} the priests; and Seraiah {was} the scribe; {scribe: or, secretary}
Benaiah, son of Jehoiada, was leading both the Cherethites and the Pelethites; and David's sons were the top dogs.
And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada {was over} both the Cherethites and the Pelethites; and David's sons were chief rulers. {chief rulers: or, princes}