2 Samuel Chapter 5
All the tribes of Israel rolled up to David in Hebron, saying, "Yo, we’re your crew, for real."
Then came all the tribes of Israel to David unto Hebron, and spake, saying, Behold, we {are} thy bone and thy flesh.
Back in the day when Saul ruled, you were the one leading Israel, and the Lord was like, "You’re gonna handle my people and be their boss."
Also in time past, when Saul was king over us, thou wast he that leddest out and broughtest in Israel: and the LORD said to thee, Thou shalt feed my people Israel, and thou shalt be a captain over Israel.
So all the elders of Israel came to the king in Hebron; and King David made a pact with them before the Lord, and they anointed him as king over Israel.
So all the elders of Israel came to the king to Hebron; and king David made a league with them in Hebron before the LORD: and they anointed David king over Israel.
David was 30 when he kicked off his reign, holding it down for 40 years, no cap.
David {was} thirty years old when he began to reign, {and} he reigned forty years.
He ruled over Judah for seven years and six months in Hebron, then held it down for thirty-three years over all Israel and Judah in Jerusalem.
In Hebron he reigned over Judah seven years and six months: and in Jerusalem he reigned thirty and three years over all Israel and Judah.
The king and his squad headed to Jerusalem to the Jebusites, who were like, "Unless you take out the blind and lame, you can’t roll in here," thinking David wouldn’t be able to get through.
And the king and his men went to Jerusalem unto the Jebusites, the inhabitants of the land: which spake unto David, saying, Except thou take away the blind and the lame, thou shalt not come in hither: thinking, David cannot come in hither. {thinking...: or, saying David shall not, etc}
But David straight-up seized the stronghold of Zion, which is now known as the city of David.
Nevertheless David took the strong hold of Zion: the same {is} the city of David.
David declared that day, "Whoever climbs up and takes out the Jebusites, the lame and the blind, who I’m not vibing with, will be chief and captain." They said, "The blind and lame can’t enter the house."
And David said on that day, Whosoever getteth up to the gutter, and smiteth the Jebusites, and the lame and the blind, {that are} hated of David's soul, {he shall be chief and captain}. Wherefore they said, The blind and the lame shall not come into the house. {Wherefore...: or, Because they had said, even the blind and the lame, He shall not}
So David hung out in the fort and named it the city of David, building up from Millo and inward.
So David dwelt in the fort, and called it the city of David. And David built round about from Millo and inward.
David kept leveling up, and the Lord God of hosts was with him, vibing hard.
And David went on, and grew great, and the LORD God of hosts {was} with him. {went...: Heb. went, going and growing}
Hiram, king of Tyre, sent messengers to David with cedar trees, carpenters, and masons to build him a dope crib.
And Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David, and cedar trees, and carpenters, and masons: and they built David an house. {masons: Heb. hewers of the stone of the wall}
David realized the Lord had made him king over Israel and boosted his kingdom for the sake of his peeps.
And David perceived that the LORD had established him king over Israel, and that he had exalted his kingdom for his people Israel's sake.
David picked up even more wives and concubines from Jerusalem after he came back from Hebron; he had more sons and daughters, no cap.
And David took {him} more concubines and wives out of Jerusalem, after he was come from Hebron: and there were yet sons and daughters born to David.
Here are the names of those born to him in Jerusalem: Shammua, Shobab, Nathan, and Solomon, good vibes.
And these {be} the names of those that were born unto him in Jerusalem; Shammua, and Shobab, and Nathan, and Solomon,
Ibhar, Elishua, Nepheg, and Japhia too, all part of the crew.
Ibhar also, and Elishua, and Nepheg, and Japhia,
And Elishama, Eliada, and Eliphalet made the list.
And Elishama, and Eliada, and Eliphalet.
When the Philistines peeped that David was king over Israel, they rolled up to find him; David caught wind and went down to the hold.
But when the Philistines heard that they had anointed David king over Israel, all the Philistines came up to seek David; and David heard {of it}, and went down to the hold.
The Philistines came back again and spread out in the valley of Rephaim.
The Philistines also came and spread themselves in the valley of Rephaim.
David asked the Lord, "Should I go up against the Philistines? Will you hand them over to me?" The Lord was like, "Go for it; I got your back."
And David enquired of the LORD, saying, Shall I go up to the Philistines? wilt thou deliver them into mine hand? And the LORD said unto David, Go up: for I will doubtless deliver the Philistines into thine hand.
David hit Baal–perazim, wrecked them there, and said, "The Lord broke through my enemies like a flood." So he named that spot Baal–perazim.
And David came to Baalperazim, and David smote them there, and said, The LORD hath broken forth upon mine enemies before me, as the breach of waters. Therefore he called the name of that place Baalperazim. {Baalperazim: that is, the plain of breaches}
They ditched their idols, and David and his crew burned them, savage move.
And there they left their images, and David and his men burned them. {burned...: or, took them away}
The Philistines showed up again, spreading out in the valley of Rephaim.
And the Philistines came up yet again, and spread themselves in the valley of Rephaim.
When David checked in with the Lord again, He said, "Don’t go up; sneak behind them and roll up by the mulberry trees."
And when David enquired of the LORD, he said, Thou shalt not go up; {but} fetch a compass behind them, and come upon them over against the mulberry trees.
And when you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the mulberry trees, that’s your signal to move; the Lord will go out ahead of you to take down the Philistines.
And let it be, when thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees, that then thou shalt bestir thyself: for then shall the LORD go out before thee, to smite the host of the Philistines.
David did exactly as the Lord commanded and took out the Philistines from Geba all the way to Gazer, lit.
And David did so, as the LORD had commanded him; and smote the Philistines from Geba until thou come to Gazer. {Geba: also called, Gibeon}