2 Samuel Chapter 1
So, after Saul bit the dust, David cruised back to Ziklag, chillin' for a couple of days.
Now it came to pass after the death of Saul, when David was returned from the slaughter of the Amalekites, and David had abode two days in Ziklag;
On the third day, a guy popped up from Saul's camp, his clothes all torn and dirt on his head, like, "What’s popping?" He hit the floor, showing mad respect to David.
It came even to pass on the third day, that, behold, a man came out of the camp from Saul with his clothes rent, and earth upon his head: and {so} it was, when he came to David, that he fell to the earth, and did obeisance.
David was like, "Where you coming from, fam?" And the guy said, "I made it out from Israel's camp, no cap."
And David said unto him, From whence comest thou? And he said unto him, Out of the camp of Israel am I escaped.
David asked, "What went down? Spill the details." The dude responded, "The crew bailed from the fight, many are down, and Saul and his son Jonathan are out too."
And David said unto him, How went the matter? I pray thee, tell me. And he answered, That the people are fled from the battle, and many of the people also are fallen and dead; and Saul and Jonathan his son are dead also. {How...: Heb. What was, etc}
David turned to the young man and inquired, "How do you know Saul and Jonathan are gone?"
And David said unto the young man that told him, How knowest thou that Saul and Jonathan his son be dead?
The young man said, "I was just hanging out on Mount Gilboa, and I peeped Saul leaning on his spear, seeing chariots and riders coming for him."
And the young man that told him said, As I happened by chance upon mount Gilboa, behold, Saul leaned upon his spear; and, lo, the chariots and horsemen followed hard after him.
When Saul spotted me, he shouted out, and I was like, "What’s good?"
And when he looked behind him, he saw me, and called unto me. And I answered, Here {am} I. {Here...: Heb. Behold me}
He asked, "Who are you?" I replied, "I’m an Amalekite, no cap, fam."
And he said unto me, Who {art} thou? And I answered him, I {am} an Amalekite.
Saul told me, "Stand over me and finish me off, 'cause I'm in pain but still kicking."
He said unto me again, Stand, I pray thee, upon me, and slay me: for anguish is come upon me, because my life {is} yet whole in me. {anguish...: or, my coat of mail (or, my embroidered coat) hindereth me, that my, etc}
So I took him out, knowing he was finished, and I snatched his crown and bracelet to bring to my dude.
So I stood upon him, and slew him, because I was sure that he could not live after that he was fallen: and I took the crown that {was} upon his head, and the bracelet that {was} on his arm, and have brought them hither unto my lord.
Then David tore his clothes like, “This is wild,” and all his homies were like, “Same energy.”
Then David took hold on his clothes, and rent them; and likewise all the men that {were} with him:
They were straight-up mourning, crying, and fasting until evening for Saul, Jonathan, and the crew, ‘cause they got taken out by the sword.
And they mourned, and wept, and fasted until even, for Saul, and for Jonathan his son, and for the people of the LORD, and for the house of Israel; because they were fallen by the sword.
David asked the young dude who brought the news, “Where you from, fam?” He replied, “I’m just a random Amalekite, no lie.”
And David said unto the young man that told him, Whence {art} thou? And he answered, I {am} the son of a stranger, an Amalekite.
David was like, “How you not scared to mess with the Lord’s chosen? That’s pretty savage.”
And David said unto him, How wast thou not afraid to stretch forth thine hand to destroy the LORD'S anointed?
David called over one of his boys, said, “Go take him out.” And he did, and dude was finished.
And David called one of the young men, and said, Go near, {and} fall upon him. And he smote him that he died.
David said, “Your blood’s on your own head; you just confessed to taking out the Lord’s anointed, fr.”
And David said unto him, Thy blood {be} upon thy head; for thy mouth hath testified against thee, saying, I have slain the LORD'S anointed.
David was all about that lamentation for Saul and his son Jonathan, like, “This hits hard.”
And David lamented with this lamentation over Saul and over Jonathan his son:
He told them to teach the kids of Judah how to use the bow, ‘cause it’s lit, and it’s in the book of Jasher.
(Also he bade them teach the children of Judah {the use of} the bow: behold, {it is} written in the book of Jasher.) {of Jasher: or, of the upright}
The glory of Israel is taken down on the high places; like, how the mighty have fallen!
The beauty of Israel is slain upon thy high places: how are the mighty fallen!
“Don’t spill the tea in Gath or the streets of Askelon; the Philistine girls don’t need to celebrate, periodt.”
Tell {it} not in Gath, publish {it} not in the streets of Askelon; lest the daughters of the Philistines rejoice, lest the daughters of the uncircumcised triumph.
Yo, mountains of Gilboa, no dew or rain for you, just dry vibes: the shield of the strong got tossed like it was no big deal, like Saul wasn't even anointed.
Ye mountains of Gilboa, {let there be} no dew, neither {let there be} rain, upon you, nor fields of offerings: for there the shield of the mighty is vilely cast away, the shield of Saul, {as though he had} not {been} anointed with oil.
From the blood of the fallen, Jonathan's bow never flinched, and Saul's sword didn't come back empty, fr.
From the blood of the slain, from the fat of the mighty, the bow of Jonathan turned not back, and the sword of Saul returned not empty.
Saul and Jonathan were straight-up life goals, and even in death, they were a power duo: faster than eagles, stronger than lions, no cap.
Saul and Jonathan {were} lovely and pleasant in their lives, and in their death they were not divided: they were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions. {pleasant: or, sweet}
Yo, daughters of Israel, shed some tears for Saul, who dripped in scarlet and brought you all the solid vibes, decked you out in gold.
Ye daughters of Israel, weep over Saul, who clothed you in scarlet, with {other} delights, who put on ornaments of gold upon your apparel.
How the mighty have fallen in battle! O Jonathan, you were taken out high up, savage.
How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle! O Jonathan, {thou wast} slain in thine high places.
I’m feeling some type of way for you, my bro Jonathan: you were such a vibe, your love hit different, better than any romance.
I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.
How the mighty have fallen, and all the war gear is just gone!
How are the mighty fallen, and the weapons of war perished!