2 Kings Chapter 23
The king called up all the elders of Judah and Jerusalem, saying, "Yo, gather 'round, fam."
And the king sent, and they gathered unto him all the elders of Judah and of Jerusalem.
So the king cruised over to the Lord's house with all the homies from Judah and Jerusalem, plus the priests and prophets, and read them the entire book of the covenant he discovered. Major vibes.
And the king went up into the house of the LORD, and all the men of Judah and all the inhabitants of Jerusalem with him, and the priests, and the prophets, and all the people, both small and great: and he read in their ears all the words of the book of the covenant which was found in the house of the LORD. {both...: Heb. from small even unto great}
Standing next to a pillar, the king made a vow to the Lord, saying he'd stick to the commandments and keep it real with all his heart and soul. Everyone was like, "We’re down with this covenant."
And the king stood by a pillar, and made a covenant before the LORD, to walk after the LORD, and to keep his commandments and his testimonies and his statutes with all {their} heart and all {their} soul, to perform the words of this covenant that were written in this book. And all the people stood to the covenant.
The king instructed Hilkiah the high priest and the other priests to pull out all the items for Baal and the grove from the Lord's temple. He torched them outside Jerusalem in Kidron and scattered the ashes to Beth-el. Savage move.
And the king commanded Hilkiah the high priest, and the priests of the second order, and the keepers of the door, to bring forth out of the temple of the LORD all the vessels that were made for Baal, and for the grove, and for all the host of heaven: and he burned them without Jerusalem in the fields of Kidron, and carried the ashes of them unto Bethel.
He took down the idol priests that Judah's kings had set up to burn incense in those high places around Judah and Jerusalem, you know, the ones who were vibing with Baal and the stars.
And he put down the idolatrous priests, whom the kings of Judah had ordained to burn incense in the high places in the cities of Judah, and in the places round about Jerusalem; them also that burned incense unto Baal, to the sun, and to the moon, and to the planets, and to all the host of heaven. {put...: Heb. caused to cease} {idolatrous...: Heb. Chemarim} {planets: or, twelve signs or, constellations}
He dragged the grove out from the Lord's house to the Kidron brook, burned it there, ground it into dust, and sprinkled it on the graves of the people. No cap.
And he brought out the grove from the house of the LORD, without Jerusalem, unto the brook Kidron, and burned it at the brook Kidron, and stamped {it} small to powder, and cast the powder thereof upon the graves of the children of the people.
He absolutely wrecked the houses of the sodomites next to the Lord's house, where the women were making hangings for the grove.
And he brake down the houses of the sodomites, that {were} by the house of the LORD, where the women wove hangings for the grove. {hangings: Heb. houses}
He gathered all the priests from Judah’s towns and messed up the high places where they burned incense, from Geba to Beer-sheba, and smashed the high places at the city gates.
And he brought all the priests out of the cities of Judah, and defiled the high places where the priests had burned incense, from Geba to Beersheba, and brake down the high places of the gates that {were} in the entering in of the gate of Joshua the governor of the city, which {were} on a man's left hand at the gate of the city.
But those priests from those high places didn’t hit up the Lord’s altar in Jerusalem; they just ate unleavened bread with their squad.
Nevertheless the priests of the high places came not up to the altar of the LORD in Jerusalem, but they did eat of the unleavened bread among their brethren.
He defiled Topheth in the valley of Hinnom, making sure no one could make their kids pass through the fire to Molech. Periodt.
And he defiled Topheth, which {is} in the valley of the children of Hinnom, that no man might make his son or his daughter to pass through the fire to Molech.
He straight-up took the horses the kings of Judah dedicated to the sun by the Lord's house, and torched those chariots like, "This is sus."
And he took away the horses that the kings of Judah had given to the sun, at the entering in of the house of the LORD, by the chamber of Nathanmelech the chamberlain, which {was} in the suburbs, and burned the chariots of the sun with fire. {chamberlain: or, eunuch, or, officer}
The altars in Ahaz's upper chamber and the ones made by Manasseh? The king wrecked them and dumped the dust into the Kidron brook, no cap.
And the altars that {were} on the top of the upper chamber of Ahaz, which the kings of Judah had made, and the altars which Manasseh had made in the two courts of the house of the LORD, did the king beat down, and brake {them} down from thence, and cast the dust of them into the brook Kidron. {brake...: or, ran from thence}
He totally defiled the high places in front of Jerusalem, built by Solomon for those sus gods, fr.
And the high places that {were} before Jerusalem, which {were} on the right hand of the mount of corruption, which Solomon the king of Israel had builded for Ashtoreth the abomination of the Zidonians, and for Chemosh the abomination of the Moabites, and for Milcom the abomination of the children of Ammon, did the king defile. {the mount...: that is, the mount of Olives}
He smashed the images, chopped down the groves, and filled the spots with bones, like savage vibes.
And he brake in pieces the images, and cut down the groves, and filled their places with the bones of men. {images: Heb. statues}
The altar at Beth-el and the high place Jeroboam made? He broke it down, set it ablaze, and reduced it to dust, periodt.
Moreover the altar that {was} at Bethel, {and} the high place which Jeroboam the son of Nebat, who made Israel to sin, had made, both that altar and the high place he brake down, and burned the high place, {and} stamped {it} small to powder, and burned the grove.
While Josiah turned, he spotted the sepulchres and took the bones out to burn them on the altar, keeping it real with the Lord's word.
And as Josiah turned himself, he spied the sepulchres that {were} there in the mount, and sent, and took the bones out of the sepulchres, and burned {them} upon the altar, and polluted it, according to the word of the LORD which the man of God proclaimed, who proclaimed these words.
He was like, "What’s that title I see?" and the city peeps told him it’s the sepulchre of the man of God from Judah, who called out the altar vibes.
Then he said, What title {is} that that I see? And the men of the city told him, {It is} the sepulchre of the man of God, which came from Judah, and proclaimed these things that thou hast done against the altar of Bethel.
He said, "Let him chill; don’t move his bones." So they left his bones undisturbed, along with the prophet's bones from Samaria, no cap.
And he said, Let him alone; let no man move his bones. So they let his bones alone, with the bones of the prophet that came out of Samaria. {bones alone: Heb. bones to escape}
Josiah removed all the high places in Samaria that the kings established to make the Lord mad and did his thing just like he did in Beth-el.
And all the houses also of the high places that {were} in the cities of Samaria, which the kings of Israel had made to provoke {the LORD} to anger, Josiah took away, and did to them according to all the acts that he had done in Bethel.
He eliminated all the priests of those high places, burned their bones on the altars, and cruised back to Jerusalem, lit.
And he slew all the priests of the high places that {were} there upon the altars, and burned men's bones upon them, and returned to Jerusalem. {slew: or, sacrificed}
The king was like, "Yo fam, keep the Passover for the Lord your God, just like it says in this covenant book. Vibes."
And the king commanded all the people, saying, Keep the passover unto the LORD your God, as {it is} written in the book of this covenant.
No cap, there hasn’t been a Passover like this since the judges ruled Israel, or during all the kings of Israel and Judah.
Surely there was not holden such a passover from the days of the judges that judged Israel, nor in all the days of the kings of Israel, nor of the kings of Judah;
But in the eighteenth year of King Josiah, they put together this lit Passover for the Lord in Jerusalem.
But in the eighteenth year of king Josiah, {wherein} this passover was holden to the LORD in Jerusalem.
Josiah totally wiped out all the sus stuff—familiar spirits, wizards, idols, and all the cringe abominations he found in Judah and Jerusalem, just to keep it real with the law he discovered in the Lord's house.
Moreover the {workers with} familiar spirits, and the wizards, and the images, and the idols, and all the abominations that were spied in the land of Judah and in Jerusalem, did Josiah put away, that he might perform the words of the law which were written in the book that Hilkiah the priest found in the house of the LORD. {images: or, teraphim}
No king was as goated as him, turning to the Lord with all his heart, soul, and strength, following Moses' law; after him, nobody matched that energy.
And like unto him was there no king before him, that turned to the LORD with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses; neither after him arose there {any} like him.
But still, the Lord wasn’t chillin’ with Judah; His wrath was lit against them because of all the drama Manasseh stirred up.
Notwithstanding the LORD turned not from the fierceness of his great wrath, wherewith his anger was kindled against Judah, because of all the provocations that Manasseh had provoked him withal. {provocations: Heb. angers}
The Lord was like, "I’m gonna bounce Judah from my sight, just like I did with Israel, and I’ll ditch this city, Jerusalem, where I claimed my name would be."
And the LORD said, I will remove Judah also out of my sight, as I have removed Israel, and will cast off this city Jerusalem which I have chosen, and the house of which I said, My name shall be there.
So, like, are all the other things Josiah did not written in the chronicles of the kings of Judah?
Now the rest of the acts of Josiah, and all that he did, {are} they not written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Judah?
During his reign, Pharaoh-nechoh from Egypt rolled up against the king of Assyria at the Euphrates, and King Josiah was like, "Bet," and went to face him; he took him out at Megiddo.
In his days Pharaohnechoh king of Egypt went up against the king of Assyria to the river Euphrates: and king Josiah went against him; and he slew him at Megiddo, when he had seen him.
His crew brought him back in a chariot, dead from Megiddo, took him to Jerusalem, and buried him in his own tomb. The people then anointed Jehoahaz, Josiah's son, to be king in his dad’s place.
And his servants carried him in a chariot dead from Megiddo, and brought him to Jerusalem, and buried him in his own sepulchre. And the people of the land took Jehoahaz the son of Josiah, and anointed him, and made him king in his father's stead.
Jehoahaz was 23 when he started flexing as king, but only lasted three months in Jerusalem. His mom's name was Hamutal, daughter of Jeremiah from Libnah.
Jehoahaz {was} twenty and three years old when he began to reign; and he reigned three months in Jerusalem. And his mother's name {was} Hamutal, the daughter of Jeremiah of Libnah. {Jehoahaz: also called, Shallum}
He was out here doing sus stuff in the eyes of the Lord, just like his fam before him.
And he did {that which was} evil in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his fathers had done.
Pharaoh-nechoh put him in chains at Riblah in Hamath so he couldn't pop off in Jerusalem, and made the land pay up a hundred talents of silver and a talent of gold.
And Pharaohnechoh put him in bands at Riblah in the land of Hamath, that he might not reign in Jerusalem; and put the land to a tribute of an hundred talents of silver, and a talent of gold. {that...: or, because he reigned} {put the...: Heb. set a fine upon the land}
Pharaoh-nechoh crowned Eliakim, Josiah's son, as king instead of Josiah, changed his name to Jehoiakim, and took Jehoahaz to Egypt where he straight-up died.
And Pharaohnechoh made Eliakim the son of Josiah king in the room of Josiah his father, and turned his name to Jehoiakim, and took Jehoahaz away: and he came to Egypt, and died there.
Jehoiakim gave the silver and gold to Pharaoh, but taxed the land to stack that cash flow, collecting from everyone to send it all to Pharaoh-nechoh.
And Jehoiakim gave the silver and the gold to Pharaoh; but he taxed the land to give the money according to the commandment of Pharaoh: he exacted the silver and the gold of the people of the land, of every one according to his taxation, to give {it} unto Pharaohnechoh.
Jehoiakim was 25 when he started ruling, and he held it down for eleven years in Jerusalem. His mom's name was Zebudah, daughter of Pedaiah from Rumah.
Jehoiakim {was} twenty and five years old when he began to reign; and he reigned eleven years in Jerusalem. And his mother's name {was} Zebudah, the daughter of Pedaiah of Rumah.
He was also doing sus stuff in the eyes of the Lord, just like his fam before him.
And he did {that which was} evil in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his fathers had done.