2 Kings Chapter 2
So, like, the Lord was about to scoop Elijah up to heaven in a whirlwind, and Elijah was chilling with Elisha from Gilgal.
And it came to pass, when the LORD would take up Elijah into heaven by a whirlwind, that Elijah went with Elisha from Gilgal.
Elijah was like, "Stay here, my guy; the Lord sent me to Beth-el." Elisha replied, "No cap, I ain’t going anywhere." So they dipped to Beth-el.
And Elijah said unto Elisha, Tarry here, I pray thee; for the LORD hath sent me to Bethel. And Elisha said {unto him, As} the LORD liveth, and {as} thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee. So they went down to Bethel.
The prophet squad at Beth-el approached Elisha, saying, "You know the Lord's taking your master today, right?" Elisha was like, "Yeah, I’m aware, keep it on the down-low."
And the sons of the prophets that {were} at Bethel came forth to Elisha, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the LORD will take away thy master from thy head to day? And he said, Yea, I know {it}; hold ye your peace.
Elijah told him, "Yo, Elisha, chill here; the Lord sent me to Jericho." Elisha answered, "As long as the Lord is alive, I’m not bailing." So they trekked to Jericho.
And Elijah said unto him, Elisha, tarry here, I pray thee; for the LORD hath sent me to Jericho. And he said, {As} the LORD liveth, and {as} thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee. So they came to Jericho.
The prophet homies at Jericho came up to Elisha, saying, "Don’t you know the Lord's taking your master today?" He was like, "Yeah, relax."
And the sons of the prophets that {were} at Jericho came to Elisha, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the LORD will take away thy master from thy head to day? And he answered, Yea, I know {it}; hold ye your peace.
Elijah said, "Stay here, I gotta hit up Jordan." Elisha responded, "For real, I’m rolling with you." So they kept it moving.
And Elijah said unto him, Tarry, I pray thee, here; for the LORD hath sent me to Jordan. And he said, {As} the LORD liveth, and {as} thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee. And they two went on.
Fifty from the prophet crew hung back, peeping from afar while Elijah and Elisha were by Jordan.
And fifty men of the sons of the prophets went, and stood to view afar off: and they two stood by Jordan. {to view: Heb. in sight, or, over against}
Elijah took his mantle, wrapped it up, and slapped the waters, which split like, "This is lit." They crossed on dry ground.
And Elijah took his mantle, and wrapped {it} together, and smote the waters, and they were divided hither and thither, so that they two went over on dry ground.
After crossing, Elijah asked Elisha, "What do you need before I bounce?" Elisha said, "I want double the vibes of your spirit on me."
And it came to pass, when they were gone over, that Elijah said unto Elisha, Ask what I shall do for thee, before I be taken away from thee. And Elisha said, I pray thee, let a double portion of thy spirit be upon me.
Elijah was like, "That’s a hefty request; but if you see me when I’m taken, it’s yours; if not, no chance."
And he said, Thou hast asked a hard thing: {nevertheless}, if thou see me {when I am} taken from thee, it shall be so unto thee; but if not, it shall not be {so}. {Thou hast...: Heb. Thou hast done hard in asking}
While they were chatting, out of nowhere, a chariot of fire and fiery horses came through and separated them; then Elijah got whipped up in a whirlwind to heaven.
And it came to pass, as they still went on, and talked, that, behold, {there appeared} a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, and parted them both asunder; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven.
Elisha peeped this and shouted, "Yo, the chariot of Israel!" Then he lost sight of him and tore his clothes in two.
And Elisha saw {it}, and he cried, My father, my father, the chariot of Israel, and the horsemen thereof. And he saw him no more: and he took hold of his own clothes, and rent them in two pieces.
He picked up Elijah's mantle that dropped and went back, standing by the Jordan.
He took up also the mantle of Elijah that fell from him, and went back, and stood by the bank of Jordan; {bank: Heb. lip}
He took the mantle, hit the waters, and asked, "Where’s the Lord God of Elijah?" When he struck the waters, they split again, and Elisha crossed over.
And he took the mantle of Elijah that fell from him, and smote the waters, and said, Where {is} the LORD God of Elijah? and when he also had smitten the waters, they parted hither and thither: and Elisha went over.
When the prophet crew at Jericho saw him, they were like, "Elisha's got Elijah's spirit now." They approached him and bowed down.
And when the sons of the prophets which {were} to view at Jericho saw him, they said, The spirit of Elijah doth rest on Elisha. And they came to meet him, and bowed themselves to the ground before him.
They were like, "Yo, we’ve got fifty strong dudes; let them look for your master, just in case the Spirit took him somewhere." But he was like, "Nah, don’t send them."
And they said unto him, Behold now, there be with thy servants fifty strong men; let them go, we pray thee, and seek thy master: lest peradventure the Spirit of the LORD hath taken him up, and cast him upon some mountain, or into some valley. And he said, Ye shall not send. {strong...: Heb. sons of strength} {some mountain: Heb. one of the mountains}
They kept pressing until he relented and said, "Alright, send them." They dispatched fifty men who looked for three days but couldn’t track him down.
And when they urged him till he was ashamed, he said, Send. They sent therefore fifty men; and they sought three days, but found him not.
When they returned to him (he was still chilling at Jericho), he said, "Didn’t I tell you not to go?"
And when they came again to him, (for he tarried at Jericho,) he said unto them, Did I not say unto you, Go not?
The city peeps told Elisha, "This city’s got solid vibes, but the water’s whack and the land’s barren."
And the men of the city said unto Elisha, Behold, I pray thee, the situation of this city {is} pleasant, as my lord seeth: but the water {is} naught, and the ground barren. {barren: Heb. causing to miscarry}
He said, "Get me a fresh jar and toss some salt in it." They brought it to him.
And he said, Bring me a new cruse, and put salt therein. And they brought {it} to him.
He went to the water source, chucked in the salt, and declared, "The Lord says I’ve healed these waters; no more death or barren land."
And he went forth unto the spring of the waters, and cast the salt in there, and said, Thus saith the LORD, I have healed these waters; there shall not be from thence any more death or barren {land}.
So the waters were healed, just like Elisha said, and it’s still good to this day.
So the waters were healed unto this day, according to the saying of Elisha which he spake.
He went up to Beth-el, and while heading there, some kids came out and mocked him, saying, "Go up, bald head!"
And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
He turned around, looked at them, and cursed them in the Lord’s name. Then two bears came out and mauled forty-two of those kids.
And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
After that, he left and went to mount Carmel, then made his way back to Samaria.
And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.