2 Kings Chapter 18
So, in the third year of Hoshea, who was the son of Elah, king of Israel, Hezekiah, son of Ahaz, kicked off his reign. Major vibes.
Now it came to pass in the third year of Hoshea son of Elah king of Israel, {that} Hezekiah the son of Ahaz king of Judah began to reign. {Hezekiah: he is called Ezekias}
Only 25 when he stepped up to the throne, Hezekiah ruled for 29 years in Jerusalem. His mom was Abi, daughter of Zachariah, no cap.
Twenty and five years old was he when he began to reign; and he reigned twenty and nine years in Jerusalem. His mother's name also {was} Abi, the daughter of Zachariah. {Abi: also called, Abijah}
Straight-up righteous in the sight of the Lord, just like his pops David, periodt.
And he did {that which was} right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that David his father did.
He took out the high places, smashed the idols, and chopped down the groves. Even wrecked the bronze serpent made by Moses since folks were burning incense to it. He called it Nehushtan, savage.
He removed the high places, and brake the images, and cut down the groves, and brake in pieces the brasen serpent that Moses had made: for unto those days the children of Israel did burn incense to it: and he called it Nehushtan. {images: Heb. statues} {Nehushtan: that is, A piece of brass}
His trust was solid in the Lord God of Israel; no king of Judah was ever as chill as him before or after, facts.
He trusted in the LORD God of Israel; so that after him was none like him among all the kings of Judah, nor {any} that were before him.
Totally committed to the Lord, he never dipped from following Him and kept Moses' commandments from the Lord, fr.
For he clave to the LORD, {and} departed not from following him, but kept his commandments, which the LORD commanded Moses. {from...: Heb. from after him}
The Lord was backing him; he was thriving wherever he went, and he didn’t vibe with the king of Assyria, just said no.
And the LORD was with him; {and} he prospered whithersoever he went forth: and he rebelled against the king of Assyria, and served him not.
He wrecked the Philistines all the way to Gaza and the borders, from the watchtower to the fortified city. Goated move.
He smote the Philistines, {even} unto Gaza, and the borders thereof, from the tower of the watchmen to the fenced city. {Gaza: Heb. Azzah}
During the fourth year of King Hezekiah, which was Hoshea's seventh year, Shalmaneser, the king of Assyria, rolled up on Samaria and laid siege to it.
And it came to pass in the fourth year of king Hezekiah, which {was} the seventh year of Hoshea son of Elah king of Israel, {that} Shalmaneser king of Assyria came up against Samaria, and besieged it.
After three years, they finally snagged it. By Hezekiah's sixth year, which was Hoshea's ninth year, Samaria was officially taken, no cap.
And at the end of three years they took it: {even} in the sixth year of Hezekiah, that {is} the ninth year of Hoshea king of Israel, Samaria was taken.
The king of Assyria straight-up took Israel to Assyria, dropping them in Halah and Habor by the Gozan river, plus the cities of the Medes. Savage move.
And the king of Assyria did carry away Israel unto Assyria, and put them in Halah and in Habor {by} the river of Gozan, and in the cities of the Medes:
They didn’t vibe with what the Lord said, broke the covenant, and ignored Moses’ commands. Total sus behavior.
Because they obeyed not the voice of the LORD their God, but transgressed his covenant, {and} all that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded, and would not hear {them}, nor do {them}.
In Hezekiah’s fourteenth year, Sennacherib from Assyria rolled up on all the fortified cities of Judah and snatched them.
Now in the fourteenth year of king Hezekiah did Sennacherib king of Assyria come up against all the fenced cities of Judah, and took them. {Sennacherib: Heb. Sanherib}
Hezekiah hit up the Assyrian king in Lachish, saying, "My bad; chill out. I'll take whatever you throw at me." The Assyrian king was like, "Bet, that's 300 talents of silver and 30 of gold."
And Hezekiah king of Judah sent to the king of Assyria to Lachish, saying, I have offended; return from me: that which thou puttest on me will I bear. And the king of Assyria appointed unto Hezekiah king of Judah three hundred talents of silver and thirty talents of gold.
Hezekiah gave him all the silver he found in the Lord's house and the king's stash. No cap.
And Hezekiah gave {him} all the silver that was found in the house of the LORD, and in the treasures of the king's house.
Hezekiah dipped into the gold from the temple doors and pillars he decked out, sending it to the Assyrian king.
At that time did Hezekiah cut off {the gold from} the doors of the temple of the LORD, and {from} the pillars which Hezekiah king of Judah had overlaid, and gave it to the king of Assyria. {it: Heb. them}
The Assyrian king dispatched Tartan, Rabsaris, and Rab-shakeh from Lachish to Hezekiah with a huge squad against Jerusalem. They pulled up and stood by the upper pool’s conduit on the fuller’s field highway.
And the king of Assyria sent Tartan and Rabsaris and Rabshakeh from Lachish to king Hezekiah with a great host against Jerusalem. And they went up and came to Jerusalem. And when they were come up, they came and stood by the conduit of the upper pool, which {is} in the highway of the fuller's field. {great: Heb. heavy}
When they called for the king, Eliakim, Hilkiah’s son, the household boss, Shebna the scribe, and Joah, Asaph’s son, came out.
And when they had called to the king, there came out to them Eliakim the son of Hilkiah, which {was} over the household, and Shebna the scribe, and Joah the son of Asaph the recorder. {scribe: or, secretary}
Rab-shakeh said to them, "Yo, talk to Hezekiah. The big king of Assyria wants to know, what’s this confidence you’re flexing?"
And Rabshakeh said unto them, Speak ye now to Hezekiah, Thus saith the great king, the king of Assyria, What confidence {is} this wherein thou trustest?
You’re saying this, but it’s all empty talk, "I got plans and strength for war." But who you really trust, that you’re rebelling against me?
Thou sayest, (but {they are but} vain words,) {I have} counsel and strength for the war. Now on whom dost thou trust, that thou rebellest against me? {sayest: or, talkest} {vain...: Heb. word of the lips} {I have...: or, but counsel and strength are for the war}
Yo, you’re backing this weak reed, Egypt. If you lean on it, it’ll stab you, just like Pharaoh does to anyone who trusts him.
Now, behold, thou trustest upon the staff of this bruised reed, {even} upon Egypt, on which if a man lean, it will go into his hand, and pierce it: so {is} Pharaoh king of Egypt unto all that trust on him. {trustest: Heb. trustest thee}
But if you’re like, “We trust in the Lord our God,” just remember, He’s the one Hezekiah took down the high places and altars for, telling Judah and Jerusalem to worship at that altar in Jerusalem.
But if ye say unto me, We trust in the LORD our God: {is} not that he, whose high places and whose altars Hezekiah hath taken away, and hath said to Judah and Jerusalem, Ye shall worship before this altar in Jerusalem?
So, I’m asking you, give some rizz to my dude, the king of Assyria, and I’ll hook you up with two thousand horses if you find riders for them.
Now therefore, I pray thee, give pledges to my lord the king of Assyria, and I will deliver thee two thousand horses, if thou be able on thy part to set riders upon them. {pledges: or, hostages}
How are you gonna turn away even one of my master’s least servants and trust Egypt for chariots and horsemen? That’s sus.
How then wilt thou turn away the face of one captain of the least of my master's servants, and put thy trust on Egypt for chariots and for horsemen?
Did I roll up here without the Lord to wreck this place? The Lord told me to come against this land and destroy it.
Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
Then Eliakim, Shebna, and Joah were like, “Yo, Rab-shakeh, can you talk to us in Syrian? We get that. Don’t chat with us in Hebrew where everyone on the wall can hear.”
Then said Eliakim the son of Hilkiah, and Shebna, and Joah, unto Rabshakeh, Speak, I pray thee, to thy servants in the Syrian language; for we understand {it}: and talk not with us in the Jews' language in the ears of the people that {are} on the wall.
But Rab-shakeh was like, “Did my master send me to talk to you or just to the ones on the wall? He wants them to eat their own dung and drink their own pee with you.”
But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? {hath he} not {sent me} to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you? {their own piss: Heb. the water of their feet}
Then Rab-shakeh stood up and yelled in Hebrew, saying, “Listen to the word of the big king, the king of Assyria!”
Then Rabshakeh stood and cried with a loud voice in the Jews' language, and spake, saying, Hear the word of the great king, the king of Assyria:
The king says, “Don’t let Hezekiah fool you; he can’t save you from my grip.”
Thus saith the king, Let not Hezekiah deceive you: for he shall not be able to deliver you out of his hand:
And don’t let Hezekiah make you trust in the Lord, saying, “The Lord will totally save us, and this city won’t fall to the king of Assyria.”
Neither let Hezekiah make you trust in the LORD, saying, The LORD will surely deliver us, and this city shall not be delivered into the hand of the king of Assyria.
Don’t listen to Hezekiah, fam. The king of Assyria is like, “Slide me a gift, and come chill with me. Then you can munch on your own grapes and figs, and sip on your own well water.”
Hearken not to Hezekiah: for thus saith the king of Assyria, Make {an agreement} with me by a present, and come out to me, and {then} eat ye every man of his own vine, and every one of his fig tree, and drink ye every one the waters of his cistern: {Make...: or, Seek my favour: Heb. Make with me a blessing} {cistern: or, pit}
Until I roll up and take you to a land just like yours, with mad corn and wine, bread and vineyards, plus olive oil and honey, so you can live it up and not kick the bucket. Don’t listen to Hezekiah when he’s like, “The Lord’s got us.”
Until I come and take you away to a land like your own land, a land of corn and wine, a land of bread and vineyards, a land of oil olive and of honey, that ye may live, and not die: and hearken not unto Hezekiah, when he persuadeth you, saying, The LORD will deliver us. {persuadeth: or, deceiveth}
Has any of the other gods saved their peeps from the king of Assyria?
Hath any of the gods of the nations delivered at all his land out of the hand of the king of Assyria?
Where the gods at from Hamath and Arpad? What about the gods of Sepharvaim, Hena, and Ivah? Did they save Samaria from me?
Where {are} the gods of Hamath, and of Arpad? where {are} the gods of Sepharvaim, Hena, and Ivah? have they delivered Samaria out of mine hand?
Which of all the gods from these lands has saved their crew from my grip, so the Lord can save Jerusalem from my hands?
Who {are} they among all the gods of the countries, that have delivered their country out of mine hand, that the LORD should deliver Jerusalem out of mine hand?
But the people just stayed silent and didn’t say a word, ‘cause the king told them, “Don’t answer him.”
But the people held their peace, and answered him not a word: for the king's commandment was, saying, Answer him not.
Then Eliakim, Hilkiah's son, who was in charge of the house, and Shebna the scribe, plus Joah, Asaph’s son, came to Hezekiah, all ripped clothes and told him what Rab-shakeh said.
Then came Eliakim the son of Hilkiah, which {was} over the household, and Shebna the scribe, and Joah the son of Asaph the recorder, to Hezekiah with {their} clothes rent, and told him the words of Rabshakeh.