2 Kings Chapter 17
In the twelfth year of King Ahaz, Hoshea, son of Elah, took charge as the king in Samaria for a solid nine years.
In the twelfth year of Ahaz king of Judah began Hoshea the son of Elah to reign in Samaria over Israel nine years.
He was kinda sus, acting shady in the Lord's view, yet not as wild as the kings who came before him.
And he did {that which was} evil in the sight of the LORD, but not as the kings of Israel that were before him.
Then Shalmaneser, the Assyrian king, came through; Hoshea became his servant, bringing him gifts, no cap.
Against him came up Shalmaneser king of Assyria; and Hoshea became his servant, and gave him presents. {gave: Heb. rendered} {presents: or, tribute}
The Assyrian king caught on to a plot involving Hoshea since he sent messengers to the king of Egypt but skipped on bringing gifts like usual. So, the king of Assyria threw him in jail, no doubt.
And the king of Assyria found conspiracy in Hoshea: for he had sent messengers to So king of Egypt, and brought no present to the king of Assyria, as {he had done} year by year: therefore the king of Assyria shut him up, and bound him in prison. {present: or, tribute}
The king of Assyria rolled through the entire territory, hitting up Samaria and laying siege for three years straight.
Then the king of Assyria came up throughout all the land, and went up to Samaria, and besieged it three years.
In Hoshea's ninth year, the Assyrian king snatched Samaria and took the Israelites to Assyria, dropping them in Halah and Habor near the Gozan River, plus in the cities of the Medes.
In the ninth year of Hoshea the king of Assyria took Samaria, and carried Israel away into Assyria, and placed them in Halah and in Habor {by} the river of Gozan, and in the cities of the Medes.
This all went down 'cause the Israelites were trippin', sinning against the Lord their God, who rescued them from Egypt and broke Pharaoh's hold, yet they still feared other gods.
For {so} it was, that the children of Israel had sinned against the LORD their God, which had brought them up out of the land of Egypt, from under the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt, and had feared other gods,
They were vibing with the practices of the nations that the Lord cleared out before them and the kings of Israel they set up.
And walked in the statutes of the heathen, whom the LORD cast out from before the children of Israel, and of the kings of Israel, which they had made.
The Israelites were pulling shady moves against the Lord their God, building high spots in all their cities, from watchtowers to fortified places.
And the children of Israel did secretly {those} things that {were} not right against the LORD their God, and they built them high places in all their cities, from the tower of the watchmen to the fenced city.
They established images and groves on every high hill and under every green tree, straight up bussin'.
And they set them up images and groves in every high hill, and under every green tree: {images: Heb. statues}
They were out here burning incense in all those high spots, just like the sus folks the Lord booted before them; they were doing wickedness to make God mad.
And there they burnt incense in all the high places, as {did} the heathen whom the LORD carried away before them; and wrought wicked things to provoke the LORD to anger:
They were all about serving idols, and the Lord was like, "Nah fam, don’t roll like that."
For they served idols, whereof the LORD had said unto them, Ye shall not do this thing.
However, the Lord was calling out to Israel and Judah through the prophets and seers, saying, "Yo, switch up your bad vibes and keep my commandments and laws like I told your fam to do."
Yet the LORD testified against Israel, and against Judah, by all the prophets, {and by} all the seers, saying, Turn ye from your evil ways, and keep my commandments {and} my statutes, according to all the law which I commanded your fathers, and which I sent to you by my servants the prophets. {by: Heb. by the hand of}
But they weren’t hearing it, hardening their necks like their ancestors who didn’t trust the Lord their God.
Notwithstanding they would not hear, but hardened their necks, like to the neck of their fathers, that did not believe in the LORD their God.
They ghosted His statutes, rejected the covenant He made with their ancestors, and chased after empty things, getting all vain by vibing with the pagan cultures around them, even though the Lord warned, "Don’t be like them."
And they rejected his statutes, and his covenant that he made with their fathers, and his testimonies which he testified against them; and they followed vanity, and became vain, and went after the heathen that {were} round about them, {concerning} whom the LORD had charged them, that they should not do like them.
They ditched all the commandments of the Lord their God, made some molten images, two calves, set up a grove, and worshipped all the heavenly hosts while serving Baal.
And they left all the commandments of the LORD their God, and made them molten images, {even} two calves, and made a grove, and worshipped all the host of heaven, and served Baal.
They even had their kids pass through fire, dabbled in divination and enchantments, selling out to do evil in God's eyes, triggering His anger.
And they caused their sons and their daughters to pass through the fire, and used divination and enchantments, and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger.
So the Lord was mad angry with Israel and kicked them out of His sight; only the tribe of Judah remained.
Therefore the LORD was very angry with Israel, and removed them out of his sight: there was none left but the tribe of Judah only.
But Judah wasn’t keeping the commandments of the Lord their God either, choosing to follow the statutes made by Israel.
Also Judah kept not the commandments of the LORD their God, but walked in the statutes of Israel which they made.
The Lord rejected all of Israel's descendants, put them through trials, and handed them over to plunderers until He cast them out of His presence.
And the LORD rejected all the seed of Israel, and afflicted them, and delivered them into the hand of spoilers, until he had cast them out of his sight.
So, He separated Israel from David's lineage; Jeroboam, Nebat's son, got crowned and led Israel to sin hard, no cap.
For he rent Israel from the house of David; and they made Jeroboam the son of Nebat king: and Jeroboam drave Israel from following the LORD, and made them sin a great sin.
The Israelites totally vibed with all the sins Jeroboam was pulling; they didn’t shy away from that drama.
For the children of Israel walked in all the sins of Jeroboam which he did; they departed not from them;
Until the Lord ghosted Israel, just like He said through the prophets. So, Israel got taken outta their pad to Assyria, fr.
Until the LORD removed Israel out of his sight, as he had said by all his servants the prophets. So was Israel carried away out of their own land to Assyria unto this day.
The Assyrian king brought peeps from Babylon, Cuthah, Ava, Hamath, and Sepharvaim, and dropped them in Samaria instead of the Israelites: they took over Samaria and chilled in their cities.
And the king of Assyria brought {men} from Babylon, and from Cuthah, and from Ava, and from Hamath, and from Sepharvaim, and placed {them} in the cities of Samaria instead of the children of Israel: and they possessed Samaria, and dwelt in the cities thereof.
When they first moved in, they were not vibing with the Lord at all, so He sent lions to mess with them, and some got wrecked.
And {so} it was at the beginning of their dwelling there, {that} they feared not the LORD: therefore the LORD sent lions among them, which slew {some} of them.
They hit up the Assyrian king, like, "The folks you brought here don’t know the God of the land, so He sent lions to take them out, 'cause they don’t get the vibes."
Wherefore they spake to the king of Assyria, saying, The nations which thou hast removed, and placed in the cities of Samaria, know not the manner of the God of the land: therefore he hath sent lions among them, and, behold, they slay them, because they know not the manner of the God of the land.
The king of Assyria was like, "Yo, send one of the priests you brought back; let him chill here and teach them the God vibes."
Then the king of Assyria commanded, saying, Carry thither one of the priests whom ye brought from thence; and let them go and dwell there, and let him teach them the manner of the God of the land.
So, one of the priests from Samaria came and kicked it in Beth-el, teaching them how to respect the Lord.
Then one of the priests whom they had carried away from Samaria came and dwelt in Bethel, and taught them how they should fear the LORD.
But every nation was making their own gods and putting them in the high spaces the Samaritans built, each nation doing their own thing in their cities.
Howbeit every nation made gods of their own, and put {them} in the houses of the high places which the Samaritans had made, every nation in their cities wherein they dwelt.
The Babylon crew made Succoth-benoth, the Cuth homies made Nergal, and the Hamath squad made Ashima, straight up.
And the men of Babylon made Succothbenoth, and the men of Cuth made Nergal, and the men of Hamath made Ashima,
The Avites were making Nibhaz and Tartak, and the Sepharvites were literally burning their kids for Adrammelech and Anammelech, the gods of Sepharvaim. Sus vibes.
And the Avites made Nibhaz and Tartak, and the Sepharvites burnt their children in fire to Adrammelech and Anammelech, the gods of Sepharvaim.
They kinda feared the Lord and got the bottom tier of them to be priests at the high places, sacrificing in those spots. Lit move.
So they feared the LORD, and made unto themselves of the lowest of them priests of the high places, which sacrificed for them in the houses of the high places.
They feared the Lord but still served their own gods, just like the nations they were taken from. No cap.
They feared the LORD, and served their own gods, after the manner of the nations whom they carried away from thence. {whom...: or, who carried them away from thence}
To this day, they still follow the old customs: no fear of the Lord, totally ignoring His laws and rules for Jacob's fam, aka Israel. Periodt.
Unto this day they do after the former manners: they fear not the LORD, neither do they after their statutes, or after their ordinances, or after the law and commandment which the LORD commanded the children of Jacob, whom he named Israel;
The Lord made a promise with them, telling them, "Don’t fear other gods, don’t bow down, don’t serve or sacrifice to them." Bet.
With whom the LORD had made a covenant, and charged them, saying, Ye shall not fear other gods, nor bow yourselves to them, nor serve them, nor sacrifice to them:
But the Lord who pulled you outta Egypt with major power and a flexed arm, He’s the one you should fear and worship, and sacrifice to. Goated.
But the LORD, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt with great power and a stretched out arm, him shall ye fear, and him shall ye worship, and to him shall ye do sacrifice.
Hold onto those rules and laws He gave you forever; don’t fear other gods. Bussin' reminder.
And the statutes, and the ordinances, and the law, and the commandment, which he wrote for you, ye shall observe to do for evermore; and ye shall not fear other gods.
And don’t forget the covenant I made with you; don’t fear other gods, fr.
And the covenant that I have made with you ye shall not forget; neither shall ye fear other gods.
Fear the Lord your God, and He’ll save you from all your enemies. Savage.
But the LORD your God ye shall fear; and he shall deliver you out of the hand of all your enemies.
But they didn’t listen and kept rolling with their old ways. Pop off, I guess.
Howbeit they did not hearken, but they did after their former manner.
So these nations were shook by the Lord and served their idols, just like their fam and even their kids doing the same vibe today.
So these nations feared the LORD, and served their graven images, both their children, and their children's children: as did their fathers, so do they unto this day.