2 Chronicles Chapter 28
So Ahaz was just twenty, vibin' hard when he kicked off his reign, rolling for sixteen years in Jerusalem; but he wasn't on that good vibe with God, unlike his pops David, no cap.
Ahaz {was} twenty years old when he began to reign, and he reigned sixteen years in Jerusalem: but he did not {that which was} right in the sight of the LORD, like David his father:
He was low-key copying the kings of Israel, crafting those molten images for Baal, super sus vibes.
For he walked in the ways of the kings of Israel, and made also molten images for Baalim.
On top of that, he was burning incense in the Hinnom Valley and even went as far as sacrificing his kids in the fire, pulling all the savage moves the heathens did that God kicked out before Israel, fr.
Moreover he burnt incense in the valley of the son of Hinnom, and burnt his children in the fire, after the abominations of the heathen whom the LORD had cast out before the children of Israel. {burnt...: or, offered sacrifice}
He was also wildin' out here, sacrificing and burning incense on high places, hills, and under every green tree.
He sacrificed also and burnt incense in the high places, and on the hills, and under every green tree.
So the Lord his God dished him over to the king of Syria; they messed him up and snagged a whole bunch of captives to Damascus. He also got wrecked by the king of Israel, who totally gave him a serious beatdown.
Wherefore the LORD his God delivered him into the hand of the king of Syria; and they smote him, and carried away a great multitude of them captives, and brought {them} to Damascus. And he was also delivered into the hand of the king of Israel, who smote him with a great slaughter. {Damascus: Heb. Darmesek}
Pekah, son of Remaliah, took down a hundred and twenty thousand brave dudes in Judah in one day, all 'cause they ghosted the Lord God of their ancestors, fr.
For Pekah the son of Remaliah slew in Judah an hundred and twenty thousand in one day, {which were} all valiant men; because they had forsaken the LORD God of their fathers. {valiant...: Heb. sons of valour}
Then Zichri, a total beast from Ephraim, eliminated Maaseiah, the king’s son, Azrikam, the house governor, and Elkanah, who was tight with the king.
And Zichri, a mighty man of Ephraim, slew Maaseiah the king's son, and Azrikam the governor of the house, and Elkanah {that was} next to the king. {next...: Heb. the second to the king}
The kids of Israel snagged two hundred thousand of their own fam, including women, sons, and daughters, plus a bunch of their stuff, bringing it back to Samaria.
And the children of Israel carried away captive of their brethren two hundred thousand, women, sons, and daughters, and took also away much spoil from them, and brought the spoil to Samaria.
But a prophet of the Lord named Oded stepped in front of the crew rolling to Samaria and said, "Yo, the Lord God of your ancestors is not vibing with Judah, so He threw them in your path, and you’re out here slaying them in a rage that hits the heavens."
But a prophet of the LORD was there, whose name {was} Oded: and he went out before the host that came to Samaria, and said unto them, Behold, because the LORD God of your fathers was wroth with Judah, he hath delivered them into your hand, and ye have slain them in a rage {that} reacheth up unto heaven.
Now you wanna keep the kids of Judah and Jerusalem as your slaves: but don't you have sins against the Lord your God too, no cap?
And now ye purpose to keep under the children of Judah and Jerusalem for bondmen and bondwomen unto you: {but are there} not with you, even with you, sins against the LORD your God?
Listen up, you gotta let go of those peeps you took from your fam, 'cause the Lord's got some serious vibes of anger coming your way.
Now hear me therefore, and deliver the captives again, which ye have taken captive of your brethren: for the fierce wrath of the LORD {is} upon you.
So, some heads of Ephraim, like Azariah, Berechiah, Jehizkiah, and Amasa, popped off and stood up to the squad returning from the fight.
Then certain of the heads of the children of Ephraim, Azariah the son of Johanan, Berechiah the son of Meshillemoth, and Jehizkiah the son of Shallum, and Amasa the son of Hadlai, stood up against them that came from the war,
They were like, "Nah, don’t bring those captives here! We already messed up with the Lord, and you wanna add more sus to our sins? Our bad is huge, and the Lord's wrath ain't no joke against Israel."
And said unto them, Ye shall not bring in the captives hither: for whereas we have offended against the LORD {already}, ye intend to add {more} to our sins and to our trespass: for our trespass is great, and {there is} fierce wrath against Israel.
So the armed crew just left the captives and the loot chilling there before the princes and the entire crowd.
So the armed men left the captives and the spoil before the princes and all the congregation.
The guys called by name stood up, took the captives, dressed the naked ones, hooked them up with food and drink, and even carried the weak on donkeys to Jericho, the city with the palm trees, then bounced back to Samaria.
And the men which were expressed by name rose up, and took the captives, and with the spoil clothed all that were naked among them, and arrayed them, and shod them, and gave them to eat and to drink, and anointed them, and carried all the feeble of them upon asses, and brought them to Jericho, the city of palm trees, to their brethren: then they returned to Samaria.
At that point, King Ahaz slid into the DMs of the Assyrian kings looking for some help.
At that time did king Ahaz send unto the kings of Assyria to help him.
Because the Edomites came back and smacked Judah again, taking more captives.
For again the Edomites had come and smitten Judah, and carried away captives. {captives: Heb. a captivity}
The Philistines also rolled into the low country and southern Judah, snatching up cities like Beth-shemesh, Ajalon, Gederoth, and Shocho, along with their villages, and Timnah with its villages, just vibing there.
The Philistines also had invaded the cities of the low country, and of the south of Judah, and had taken Bethshemesh, and Ajalon, and Gederoth, and Shocho with the villages thereof, and Timnah with the villages thereof, Gimzo also and the villages thereof: and they dwelt there.
The Lord brought Judah down because of Ahaz, king of Israel; he left Judah wide open and totally messed up against the Lord.
For the LORD brought Judah low because of Ahaz king of Israel; for he made Judah naked, and transgressed sore against the LORD.
Then Tilgath-pilneser, king of Assyria, showed up and stressed him out, but didn't give him any real strength.
And Tilgathpilneser king of Assyria came unto him, and distressed him, but strengthened him not.
Ahaz swiped some stuff from the Lord's house and the king's crib, gave it to the Assyrian king, but no cap, it didn’t do anything for him.
For Ahaz took away a portion {out} of the house of the LORD, and {out} of the house of the king, and of the princes, and gave {it} unto the king of Assyria: but he helped him not.
When things got tough, he went even harder against the Lord; like, that's just classic King Ahaz.
And in the time of his distress did he trespass yet more against the LORD: this {is that} king Ahaz.
He was out here sacrificing to the Damascus gods that messed him up, thinking, "If those kings get help, I gotta do the same." But that just wrecked him and all of Israel, fr.
For he sacrificed unto the gods of Damascus, which smote him: and he said, Because the gods of the kings of Syria help them, {therefore} will I sacrifice to them, that they may help me. But they were the ruin of him, and of all Israel. {Damascus: Heb. Darmesek}
Ahaz gathered up the God stuff, chopped it up, sealed off the Lord's house, and built altars all over Jerusalem.
And Ahaz gathered together the vessels of the house of God, and cut in pieces the vessels of the house of God, and shut up the doors of the house of the LORD, and he made him altars in every corner of Jerusalem.
In every city of Judah, he set up high spots to burn incense to other gods, totally making the Lord mad.
And in every several city of Judah he made high places to burn incense unto other gods, and provoked to anger the LORD God of his fathers. {to burn: or, to offer}
The rest of his moves and everything he did, from start to finish, are in the king's book of Judah and Israel, periodt.
Now the rest of his acts and of all his ways, first and last, behold, they {are} written in the book of the kings of Judah and Israel.
Ahaz went to chill with his ancestors, they buried him in Jerusalem, but he wasn’t in the kings' tombs of Israel; then his son Hezekiah took charge, no cap.
And Ahaz slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the city, {even} in Jerusalem: but they brought him not into the sepulchres of the kings of Israel: and Hezekiah his son reigned in his stead.