2 Chronicles Chapter 18
Jehoshaphat was loaded with cash and status, so he linked up with Ahab, no cap.
Now Jehoshaphat had riches and honour in abundance, and joined affinity with Ahab.
After some time, he cruised over to Ahab in Samaria. Ahab threw a feast with sheep and oxen, trying to get him hyped to hit up Ramoth–gilead.
And after {certain} years he went down to Ahab to Samaria. And Ahab killed sheep and oxen for him in abundance, and for the people that {he had} with him, and persuaded him to go up {with him} to Ramothgilead. {after...: Heb. at the end of years}
Ahab, king of Israel, asked Jehoshaphat, "You down to ride with me to Ramoth–gilead?" Jehoshaphat was like, "We’re vibing, my people are your people; let’s jump into battle together."
And Ahab king of Israel said unto Jehoshaphat king of Judah, Wilt thou go with me to Ramothgilead? And he answered him, I {am} as thou {art}, and my people as thy people; and {we will be} with thee in the war.
Jehoshaphat said to the king of Israel, "Ayo, let’s see what the Lord’s saying today."
And Jehoshaphat said unto the king of Israel, Enquire, I pray thee, at the word of the LORD to day.
So, the king of Israel rounded up 400 prophets and asked them, "Should we roll to Ramoth–gilead for battle or what?" They were all like, "Go for it; God’s got your back."
Therefore the king of Israel gathered together of prophets four hundred men, and said unto them, Shall we go to Ramothgilead to battle, or shall I forbear? And they said, Go up; for God will deliver {it} into the king's hand.
But Jehoshaphat was like, "Aren't there any other prophets of the Lord we could ask?"
But Jehoshaphat said, {Is there} not here a prophet of the LORD besides, that we might enquire of him? {besides: Heb. yet, or, more}
The king of Israel replied, "There’s one guy we can ask, but I’m not feeling him; he always drops bad news, that’s Micaiah, son of Imla." Jehoshaphat was like, "Chill, don’t say that."
And the king of Israel said unto Jehoshaphat, {There is} yet one man, by whom we may enquire of the LORD: but I hate him; for he never prophesied good unto me, but always evil: the same {is} Micaiah the son of Imla. And Jehoshaphat said, Let not the king say so.
Then, the king of Israel sent one of his peeps saying, "Yo, go grab Micaiah, son of Imla, ASAP."
And the king of Israel called for one {of his} officers, and said, Fetch quickly Micaiah the son of Imla. {officers: or, eunuchs} {Fetch...: Heb. Hasten}
The king of Israel and Jehoshaphat were chilling on their thrones, draped in their royal robes, hanging at the gate of Samaria while all the prophets were vibing and prophesying in front of them.
And the king of Israel and Jehoshaphat king of Judah sat either of them on his throne, clothed in {their} robes, and they sat in a void place at the entering in of the gate of Samaria; and all the prophets prophesied before them. {void...: or, floor}
Zedekiah, son of Chenaanah, crafted some iron horns and was like, "The Lord says you’ll use these to push Syria until they’re wiped out."
And Zedekiah the son of Chenaanah had made him horns of iron, and said, Thus saith the LORD, With these thou shalt push Syria until they be consumed. {they...: Heb. thou consume them}
All the prophets were like, "Go hit up Ramoth–gilead and snag that W, 'cause the Lord's got you covered."
And all the prophets prophesied so, saying, Go up to Ramothgilead, and prosper: for the LORD shall deliver {it} into the hand of the king.
The messenger told Micaiah, "Yo, the prophets are all gassing up the king; just vibe with them and say something nice."
And the messenger that went to call Micaiah spake to him, saying, Behold, the words of the prophets {declare} good to the king with one assent; let thy word therefore, I pray thee, be like one of theirs, and speak thou good. {with...: Heb. with one mouth}
Micaiah was like, "Fr, I’m only gonna speak what God tells me to."
And Micaiah said, {As} the LORD liveth, even what my God saith, that will I speak.
When he showed up to the king, the king asked, "Micaiah, should we roll to Ramoth–gilead for battle or nah?" He replied, "Go for it, you’ll rack up the win."
And when he was come to the king, the king said unto him, Micaiah, shall we go to Ramothgilead to battle, or shall I forbear? And he said, Go ye up, and prosper, and they shall be delivered into your hand.
The king was like, "How many times do I have to tell you to keep it real with me in the Lord's name?"
And the king said to him, How many times shall I adjure thee that thou say nothing but the truth to me in the name of the LORD?
Then he said, "I peeped all of Israel scattered like sheep without a shepherd, and the Lord was like, 'They have no leader; let everyone bounce back home in peace.'"
Then he said, I did see all Israel scattered upon the mountains, as sheep that have no shepherd: and the LORD said, These have no master; let them return {therefore} every man to his house in peace.
The king of Israel turned to Jehoshaphat and said, "Didn’t I say he wouldn’t drop anything good, just bad vibes?"
And the king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat, Did I not tell thee {that} he would not prophesy good unto me, but evil? {but evil: or, but for evil}
He continued, "Listen, I saw the Lord chilling on His throne, with all the heavenly crew on His right and left."
Again he said, Therefore hear the word of the LORD; I saw the LORD sitting upon his throne, and all the host of heaven standing on his right hand and {on} his left.
The Lord asked, "Who’s gonna convince Ahab, king of Israel, to go up and catch that L at Ramoth–gilead?" One had this idea, another had that.
And the LORD said, Who shall entice Ahab king of Israel, that he may go up and fall at Ramothgilead? And one spake saying after this manner, and another saying after that manner.
Then a spirit came forward, stood before the Lord, and said, "I’ll hype him up." The Lord asked, "How you gonna pull that off?"
Then there came out a spirit, and stood before the LORD, and said, I will entice him. And the LORD said unto him, Wherewith?
He was like, "I'ma go be a sus spirit in all his prophets' mouths." And the Lord was like, "You do you, fam. Go do your thing."
And he said, I will go out, and be a lying spirit in the mouth of all his prophets. And {the LORD} said, Thou shalt entice {him}, and thou shalt also prevail: go out, and do {even} so.
So, check it, the Lord dropped a lying spirit in these prophets' mouths, and He’s not vibing with you, no cap.
Now therefore, behold, the LORD hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of these thy prophets, and the LORD hath spoken evil against thee.
Then Zedekiah, son of Chenaanah, stepped up and smacked Micaiah on the cheek, asking, "Which way did the Spirit of the Lord dip from me to talk to you?"
Then Zedekiah the son of Chenaanah came near, and smote Micaiah upon the cheek, and said, Which way went the Spirit of the LORD from me to speak unto thee?
Micaiah was like, "You’ll see when you sneak off to hide in your little spot, fr."
And Micaiah said, Behold, thou shalt see on that day when thou shalt go into an inner chamber to hide thyself. {into...: or, from chamber to chamber: Heb. a chamber in a chamber}
Then the king of Israel ordered, "Yo, take Micaiah back to Amon, the city’s governor, and to Joash, the king’s son."
Then the king of Israel said, Take ye Micaiah, and carry him back to Amon the governor of the city, and to Joash the king's son;
And tell him, "The king says to throw this dude in jail and give him only bread and water until I come back in peace."
And say, Thus saith the king, Put this {fellow} in the prison, and feed him with bread of affliction and with water of affliction, until I return in peace.
Micaiah replied, "If you come back in peace, then the Lord didn't speak through me. Listen up, everyone."
And Micaiah said, If thou certainly return in peace, {then} hath not the LORD spoken by me. And he said, Hearken, all ye people.
So the king of Israel and Jehoshaphat from Judah rolled out to Ramoth-gilead.
So the king of Israel and Jehoshaphat the king of Judah went up to Ramothgilead.
The king of Israel told Jehoshaphat, "I’m gonna disguise myself for the battle; you just rock your royal drip." So he masked up, and they headed for the fight.
And the king of Israel said unto Jehoshaphat, I will disguise myself, and will go to the battle; but put thou on thy robes. So the king of Israel disguised himself; and they went to the battle.
The king of Syria told his chariot captains, "Don’t engage with anyone except the king of Israel, bet."
Now the king of Syria had commanded the captains of the chariots that {were} with him, saying, Fight ye not with small or great, save only with the king of Israel.
So, when the chariot squad spotted Jehoshaphat, they were like, "That's the king of Israel, fam." They moved in to fight, but Jehoshaphat was like, "Help!" and the Lord had his back, making them bounce.
And it came to pass, when the captains of the chariots saw Jehoshaphat, that they said, It {is} the king of Israel. Therefore they compassed about him to fight: but Jehoshaphat cried out, and the LORD helped him; and God moved them {to depart} from him.
Then, when the chariot captains realized he wasn’t the king of Israel, they were like, "Nah, we out," and dipped.
For it came to pass, that, when the captains of the chariots perceived that it was not the king of Israel, they turned back again from pursuing him. {from...: Heb. from after him}
A random dude took a shot with a bow and hit the king of Israel right where it hurts. He told his chariot driver, "Yo, turn this ride around, I’m hurt."
And a {certain} man drew a bow at a venture, and smote the king of Israel between the joints of the harness: therefore he said to his chariot man, Turn thine hand, that thou mayest carry me out of the host; for I am wounded. {at a venture: Heb. in his simplicity} {between...: Heb. between the joints and between the breastplate} {wounded: Heb. made sick}
The battle got intense that day, but the king of Israel just held it down in his chariot against the Syrians until sunset, and when the sun dipped, he was donezo.
And the battle increased that day: howbeit the king of Israel stayed {himself} up in {his} chariot against the Syrians until the even: and about the time of the sun going down he died.