1 Samuel Chapter 5
So the Philistines snagged the ark of God and moved it from Eben–ezer to Ashdod, no cap.
And the Philistines took the ark of God, and brought it from Ebenezer unto Ashdod.
They tossed the ark in Dagon's pad, just chilling next to him.
When the Philistines took the ark of God, they brought it into the house of Dagon, and set it by Dagon.
When the Ashdod crew woke up the following day, they peeped Dagon face down on the ground before the ark. They picked him up, like, "Bruh, really?"
And when they of Ashdod arose early on the morrow, behold, Dagon {was} fallen upon his face to the earth before the ark of the LORD. And they took Dagon, and set him in his place again.
The next morning, Dagon was once again on his face, but this time he was missing his head and hands, just a stump vibing on the threshold.
And when they arose early on the morrow morning, behold, Dagon {was} fallen upon his face to the ground before the ark of the LORD; and the head of Dagon and both the palms of his hands {were} cut off upon the threshold; only {the stump of} Dagon was left to him. {the stump...: or, the fishy part}
So now, nobody from Dagon's squad even dares to step on that threshold in Ashdod, periodt.
Therefore neither the priests of Dagon, nor any that come into Dagon's house, tread on the threshold of Dagon in Ashdod unto this day.
For real, the Lord's hand was heavy on the Ashdod gang, wrecking them and giving them mad issues.
But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon them of Ashdod, and he destroyed them, and smote them with emerods, {even} Ashdod and the coasts thereof.
The Ashdod homies were like, "Nah fam, the ark of the God of Israel can't vibe with us; His hand is hitting hard on us and our dude Dagon."
And when the men of Ashdod saw that {it was} so, they said, The ark of the God of Israel shall not abide with us: for his hand is sore upon us, and upon Dagon our god.
They called all the Philistine bosses and were like, "What we gonna do with the ark of the God of Israel?" They decided, "Let’s ship it to Gath."
They sent therefore and gathered all the lords of the Philistines unto them, and said, What shall we do with the ark of the God of Israel? And they answered, Let the ark of the God of Israel be carried about unto Gath. And they carried the ark of the God of Israel about {thither}.
After they moved it around, the Lord's hand was like, "Not today," and totally wrecked the city, hitting everyone with some serious drama.
And it was {so}, that, after they had carried it about, the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction: and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods in their secret parts.
So they sent the ark to Ekron, and when it got there, the Ekronites flipped out, saying, "They brought the ark of the God of Israel to take us out!"
Therefore they sent the ark of God to Ekron. And it came to pass, as the ark of God came to Ekron, that the Ekronites cried out, saying, They have brought about the ark of the God of Israel to us, to slay us and our people. {us, to...: Heb. me to slay me and my}
They gathered all the Philistine lords again and said, "Send the ark back to its crib before it wipes us out; the destruction here is savage."
So they sent and gathered together all the lords of the Philistines, and said, Send away the ark of the God of Israel, and let it go again to his own place, that it slay us not, and our people: for there was a deadly destruction throughout all the city; the hand of God was very heavy there. {us not...: Heb. me not, and my}
Those who didn’t bite the dust were still feeling the hurt, and the city’s cry shot up to heaven, fr.
And the men that died not were smitten with the emerods: and the cry of the city went up to heaven.