1 Samuel Chapter 30
So like, David and his crew pulled up to Ziklag on the third day, and the Amalekites totally raided the south, wrecked Ziklag, and set that place ablaze;
And it came to pass, when David and his men were come to Ziklag on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the south, and Ziklag, and smitten Ziklag, and burned it with fire;
They snatched up all the women, but no one got hurt, young or old, just rolled with them and dipped.
And had taken the women captives, that {were} therein: they slew not any, either great or small, but carried {them} away, and went on their way.
When David and his squad arrived at the city, it was up in flames; their wives, sons, and daughters were all gone.
So David and his men came to the city, and, behold, {it was} burned with fire; and their wives, and their sons, and their daughters, were taken captives.
Then David and his homies started crying hard, like, no cap, until they ran out of tears.
Then David and the people that {were} with him lifted up their voice and wept, until they had no more power to weep.
And David’s two wives were taken, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess and Abigail, Nabal's wife, just savage.
And David's two wives were taken captives, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, and Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite.
David was super stressed; folks were buzzing about stoning him 'cause everyone was grieving over their families, but he hyped himself up in the Lord.
And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God. {grieved: Heb. bitter}
David told Abiathar the priest, “Yo, bring me the ephod,” and Abiathar was like, “Bet,” and brought it right over.
And David said to Abiathar the priest, Ahimelech's son, I pray thee, bring me hither the ephod. And Abiathar brought thither the ephod to David.
David asked the Lord, “Should I chase after them? Will I catch them?” And God was like, “Go for it; you’ll definitely catch them and recover everything.”
And David enquired at the LORD, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake {them}, and without fail recover {all}.
So David took off with his six hundred homies and hit the brook Besor, where the rest were too drained to keep going.
So David went, he and the six hundred men that {were} with him, and came to the brook Besor, where those that were left behind stayed.
But David kept it moving with four hundred men; two hundred stayed back 'cause they were too wiped to cross the brook.
But David pursued, he and four hundred men: for two hundred abode behind, which were so faint that they could not go over the brook Besor.
They came across this Egyptian dude chillin' in the field, brought him to David, gave him some bread, and he was like, "Yum," chugging some water;
And they found an Egyptian in the field, and brought him to David, and gave him bread, and he did eat; and they made him drink water;
They hooked him up with a fig cake and some raisins, and once he ate, he got his vibe back, 'cause he hadn’t eaten or drank for three days and nights, no cap.
And they gave him a piece of a cake of figs, and two clusters of raisins: and when he had eaten, his spirit came again to him: for he had eaten no bread, nor drunk {any} water, three days and three nights.
David was like, "Who's your crew and where you from?" And he said, "I’m just a young Egyptian, servin' an Amalekite; my boss ditched me 'cause I got sick three days ago."
And David said unto him, To whom {belongest} thou? and whence {art} thou? And he said, I {am} a young man of Egypt, servant to an Amalekite; and my master left me, because three days agone I fell sick.
We rolled up on the Cherethites down south, hit Judah’s coast, and burned Ziklag to the ground, straight savage.
We made an invasion {upon} the south of the Cherethites, and upon {the coast} which {belongeth} to Judah, and upon the south of Caleb; and we burned Ziklag with fire.
David asked him, "Can you show me where these folks are?" And he was like, "Bet, but swear to me by God you won’t off me or hand me over to my boss."
And David said to him, Canst thou bring me down to this company? And he said, Swear unto me by God, that thou wilt neither kill me, nor deliver me into the hands of my master, and I will bring thee down to this company.
When he led him down, fam was spread out everywhere, munching, sipping, and vibing 'cause they scored major loot from the Philistines and Judah.
And when he had brought him down, behold, {they were} spread abroad upon all the earth, eating and drinking, and dancing, because of all the great spoil that they had taken out of the land of the Philistines, and out of the land of Judah.
David went hard on them from dusk till the next evening: no one escaped except for 400 young dudes who dipped on camels.
And David smote them from the twilight even unto the evening of the next day: and there escaped not a man of them, save four hundred young men, which rode upon camels, and fled. {the next...: Heb. their morrow}
David reclaimed everything the Amalekites took, plus he saved his two wives, periodt.
And David recovered all that the Amalekites had carried away: and David rescued his two wives.
They were missing nothing, no small or big stuff, no sons or daughters, no loot—David got it all back, fr.
And there was nothing lacking to them, neither small nor great, neither sons nor daughters, neither spoil, nor any {thing} that they had taken to them: David recovered all.
David rounded up all the flocks and herds they drove in front of the other cattle, and was like, "This is David’s loot."
And David took all the flocks and the herds, {which} they drave before those {other} cattle, and said, This {is} David's spoil.
So David pulls up to the two hundred homies who were too wiped to roll with him, and they were chilling by the brook Besor. They came to vibe with David and his crew, and when David got near, he gave them a shoutout.
And David came to the two hundred men, which were so faint that they could not follow David, whom they had made also to abide at the brook Besor: and they went forth to meet David, and to meet the people that {were} with him: and when David came near to the people, he saluted them. {saluted...: or, asked them how they did}
Then all the shady dudes and the sketchy crew with David were like, "Nah, they didn’t roll with us, so we ain’t sharing the loot, except for their wives and kids, so they can bounce."
Then answered all the wicked men and {men} of Belial, of those that went with David, and said, Because they went not with us, we will not give them {ought} of the spoil that we have recovered, save to every man his wife and his children, that they may lead {them} away, and depart. {those: Heb. men}
David was like, "Chill, fam, we can’t do that with what the Lord hooked us up with, who kept us safe and handed over the enemies to us."
Then said David, Ye shall not do so, my brethren, with that which the LORD hath given us, who hath preserved us, and delivered the company that came against us into our hand.
Who’s gonna listen to you on this? Just like the ones who hit the battlefield get their share, the ones who stayed back with the gear get the same.
For who will hearken unto you in this matter? but as his part {is} that goeth down to the battle, so {shall} his part {be} that tarrieth by the stuff: they shall part alike.
And from that day forward, David made it a rule for Israel, and they still stick to it today, no cap.
And it was {so} from that day forward, that he made it a statute and an ordinance for Israel unto this day. {forward: Heb. and forward}
When David reached Ziklag, he sent some of the loot to the elders of Judah, his homies, saying, "Yo, peep this gift from the enemies of the Lord."
And when David came to Ziklag, he sent of the spoil unto the elders of Judah, {even} to his friends, saying, Behold a present for you of the spoil of the enemies of the LORD; {present: Heb. blessing}
To the ones chilling in Beth-el, and the ones down in south Ramoth, and those in Jattir,
To {them} which {were} in Bethel, and to {them} which {were} in south Ramoth, and to {them} which {were} in Jattir,
And to the homies in Aroer, and the ones in Siphmoth, and those in Eshtemoa,
And to {them} which {were} in Aroer, and to {them} which {were} in Siphmoth, and to {them} which {were} in Eshtemoa,
And to the crew in Rachal, and the peeps in the cities of the Jerahmeelites, and those in the cities of the Kenites,
And to {them} which {were} in Rachal, and to {them} which {were} in the cities of the Jerahmeelites, and to {them} which {were} in the cities of the Kenites,
And to the squad in Hormah, and the ones in Chor-ashan, and those in Athach,
And to {them} which {were} in Hormah, and to {them} which {were} in Chorashan, and to {them} which {were} in Athach,
And to the homies in Hebron, and all the spots where David and his crew used to vibe.
And to {them} which {were} in Hebron, and to all the places where David himself and his men were wont to haunt.