1 Samuel Chapter 21
So David rolled up to Nob to link with Ahimelech the priest, and Ahimelech was straight-up shook, like, "Why you here solo, fam?"
Then came David to Nob to Ahimelech the priest: and Ahimelech was afraid at the meeting of David, and said unto him, Why {art} thou alone, and no man with thee? {Ahimelech: also called Ahiah}
David hit him with, "The king sent me on a low-key mission, told me to keep it hush-hush, and I sent my squad off to handle business somewhere else."
And David said unto Ahimelech the priest, The king hath commanded me a business, and hath said unto me, Let no man know any thing of the business whereabout I send thee, and what I have commanded thee: and I have appointed {my} servants to such and such a place.
"What you got for me? I need five loaves or whatever you got lying around."
Now therefore what is under thine hand? give {me} five {loaves of} bread in mine hand, or what there is present. {present: Heb. found}
Ahimelech was like, "Ain't no regular bread here, but I do have that holy bread, if your crew's been clean."
And the priest answered David, and said, {There is} no common bread under mine hand, but there is hallowed bread; if the young men have kept themselves at least from women.
David was like, "No cap, we've been chilling without women for three days since I split, and my squad is pure, so that bread is all good."
And David answered the priest, and said unto him, Of a truth women {have been} kept from us about these three days, since I came out, and the vessels of the young men are holy, and {the bread is} in a manner common, yea, though it were sanctified this day in the vessel. {yea...: or, especially when this day there is other sanctified in the vessel}
So the priest gave him the holy bread, 'cause that was the only bread in the spot, straight from the Lord, meant to be fresh.
So the priest gave him hallowed {bread}: for there was no bread there but the shewbread, that was taken from before the LORD, to put hot bread in the day when it was taken away.
There was this guy named Doeg, an Edomite, who was just hanging there, the top herdsman for Saul.
Now a certain man of the servants of Saul {was} there that day, detained before the LORD; and his name {was} Doeg, an Edomite, the chiefest of the herdmen that {belonged} to Saul.
David asked Ahimelech, "You got a spear or sword on deck? I didn’t bring my gear 'cause the king called me quick."
And David said unto Ahimelech, And is there not here under thine hand spear or sword? for I have neither brought my sword nor my weapons with me, because the king's business required haste.
The priest replied, "I got Goliath's sword, the one you took down in the valley of Elah; it's wrapped in a cloth behind the ephod. If you want it, it's yours, 'cause that's all I got." David was like, "That sword's fire; I need that."
And the priest said, The sword of Goliath the Philistine, whom thou slewest in the valley of Elah, behold, it {is here} wrapped in a cloth behind the ephod: if thou wilt take that, take {it}: for {there is} no other save that here. And David said, {There is} none like that; give it me.
David dipped that day 'cause he was shook of Saul, heading to Achish, king of Gath.
And David arose, and fled that day for fear of Saul, and went to Achish the king of Gath.
Achish’s crew was like, "Ain't this David, the king? They were vibing about him, saying Saul took down thousands, and David tens of thousands!"
And the servants of Achish said unto him, {Is} not this David the king of the land? did they not sing one to another of him in dances, saying, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands?
David kept those words in mind, feeling mad anxious about Achish, the king of Gath.
And David laid up these words in his heart, and was sore afraid of Achish the king of Gath.
He switched up his vibe, started acting all crazy, scribbled on the gate doors, and let his drool drip down his beard.
And he changed his behaviour before them, and feigned himself mad in their hands, and scrabbled on the doors of the gate, and let his spittle fall down upon his beard. {scrabbled: or, made marks}
Achish was like, "Yo, this dude's wilding; why'd you bring him to me?"
Then said Achish unto his servants, Lo, ye see the man is mad: wherefore {then} have ye brought him to me? {is mad: or, playeth the mad man}
"Do I need more crazy people? Why you bringing this guy to act all sus in my presence? He ain't coming into my crib!"
Have I need of mad men, that ye have brought this {fellow} to play the mad man in my presence? shall this {fellow} come into my house?