1 Samuel Chapter 15
So Samuel was like, "Yo Saul, the big guy up there sent me to hype you up as king over His squad, Israel. So pay attention to what the Lord’s saying."
Samuel also said unto Saul, The LORD sent me to anoint thee {to be} king over his people, over Israel: now therefore hearken thou unto the voice of the words of the LORD.
The Lord of hosts straight up said, "I haven’t forgotten what Amalek did to Israel, how they snuck up on them when they rolled out from Egypt."
Thus saith the LORD of hosts, I remember {that} which Amalek did to Israel, how he laid {wait} for him in the way, when he came up from Egypt.
So go and erase Amalek, clear them out, no cap; take out everyone—men, women, kids, animals—just obliterate it all.
Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.
Saul gathered his crew and counted them in Telaim, flexing with two hundred thousand foot soldiers and ten thousand from Judah.
And Saul gathered the people together, and numbered them in Telaim, two hundred thousand footmen, and ten thousand men of Judah.
Saul pulled up to Amalek city, laying low in the valley, scheming.
And Saul came to a city of Amalek, and laid wait in the valley. {laid...: or, fought}
Saul hit up the Kenites, saying, "Yo, bounce from the Amalekites, or you’ll catch this smoke. You showed love to Israel when we dipped out of Egypt." So the Kenites bounced.
And Saul said unto the Kenites, Go, depart, get you down from among the Amalekites, lest I destroy you with them: for ye shewed kindness to all the children of Israel, when they came up out of Egypt. So the Kenites departed from among the Amalekites.
Saul wiped out the Amalekites from Havilah all the way to Shur, which faces Egypt.
And Saul smote the Amalekites from Havilah {until} thou comest to Shur, that {is} over against Egypt.
He kept Agag, the Amalekite king, alive but wiped out everyone else with the sword.
And he took Agag the king of the Amalekites alive, and utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword.
But Saul and the squad let Agag live and kept the prime sheep, oxen, and all the dope stuff, refusing to wipe them; but anything trash, they erased.
But Saul and the people spared Agag, and the best of the sheep, and of the oxen, and of the fatlings, and the lambs, and all {that was} good, and would not utterly destroy them: but every thing {that was} vile and refuse, that they destroyed utterly. {fatlings: or, second sort}
Then the Lord hit up Samuel with a word, saying,
Then came the word of the LORD unto Samuel, saying,
I'm lowkey regretting making Saul king, 'cause he totally ghosted me and didn’t follow my orders. Samuel was super bummed and cried to the Lord all night, fr.
It repenteth me that I have set up Saul {to be} king: for he is turned back from following me, and hath not performed my commandments. And it grieved Samuel; and he cried unto the LORD all night.
So, Samuel woke up early to find Saul, and he heard Saul was chilling in Carmel, setting things up before he dipped to Gilgal.
And when Samuel rose early to meet Saul in the morning, it was told Samuel, saying, Saul came to Carmel, and, behold, he set him up a place, and is gone about, and passed on, and gone down to Gilgal.
When Samuel came across Saul, Saul was like, "Yo, blessed vibes from the Lord! I fulfilled what He said."
And Samuel came to Saul: and Saul said unto him, Blessed {be} thou of the LORD: I have performed the commandment of the LORD.
Samuel was like, "But what’s with all this bleating of sheep and mooing of cows I hear? That’s sus."
And Samuel said, What {meaneth} then this bleating of the sheep in mine ears, and the lowing of the oxen which I hear?
Saul replied, "We snagged them from the Amalekites because the homies kept the best sheep and cows to vibe with the Lord; we wiped out the rest, no cap."
And Saul said, They have brought them from the Amalekites: for the people spared the best of the sheep and of the oxen, to sacrifice unto the LORD thy God; and the rest we have utterly destroyed.
Then Samuel told Saul, "Chill for a moment, and I’ll share what the Lord told me last night." Saul was like, "Bet, go off."
Then Samuel said unto Saul, Stay, and I will tell thee what the LORD hath said to me this night. And he said unto him, Say on.
Samuel said, "When you were just a little dude, didn’t the Lord make you the big boss of Israel and anoint you as king?"
And Samuel said, When thou {wast} little in thine own sight, {wast} thou not {made} the head of the tribes of Israel, and the LORD anointed thee king over Israel?
"The Lord sent you on a mission, telling you to take out the Amalekite sinners and fight them until they were fully gone."
And the LORD sent thee on a journey, and said, Go and utterly destroy the sinners the Amalekites, and fight against them until they be consumed. {they...: Heb. they consume them}
So why didn’t you listen to the Lord’s words, but went for the loot and did wrong in His eyes?
Wherefore then didst thou not obey the voice of the LORD, but didst fly upon the spoil, and didst evil in the sight of the LORD?
Saul was like, "Nah, I totally listened to the Lord and went where He sent me. I brought back Agag, the Amalek king, but we wrecked the Amalekites, fr."
And Saul said unto Samuel, Yea, I have obeyed the voice of the LORD, and have gone the way which the LORD sent me, and have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites.
But the people snagged the spoils, like sheep and oxen, the stuff that should’ve been wiped out, to flex on the Lord at Gilgal.
But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the chief of the things which should have been utterly destroyed, to sacrifice unto the LORD thy God in Gilgal.
And Samuel was like, "Does the Lord vibe more with burnt offerings and sacrifices, or with just listening to Him? For real, obeying is way better than sacrifices, and tuning in is better than the fat of rams."
And Samuel said, Hath the LORD {as great} delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey {is} better than sacrifice, {and} to hearken than the fat of rams.
For rebellion is like witchcraft, and being stubborn is just as bad as idolatry. Since you ghosted the word of the Lord, He’s ghosting you from being king.
For rebellion {is as} the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness {is as} iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from {being} king. {witchcraft: Heb. divination}
And Saul was like, "I messed up: I didn’t follow the Lord’s command or your words, 'cause I was scared of the people and listened to them instead."
And Saul said unto Samuel, I have sinned: for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD, and thy words: because I feared the people, and obeyed their voice.
So now I’m asking you, please forgive my sin and roll back with me so I can worship the Lord.
Now therefore, I pray thee, pardon my sin, and turn again with me, that I may worship the LORD.
And Samuel was like, "Nah, I’m not rolling back with you: you rejected the word of the Lord, and He’s rejected you from being king over Israel."
And Samuel said unto Saul, I will not return with thee: for thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.
As Samuel started to dip, Saul grabbed the edge of his cloak, and it ripped.
And as Samuel turned about to go away, he laid hold upon the skirt of his mantle, and it rent.
And Samuel said, "The Lord has ripped the kingdom of Israel from you today and given it to someone better, no cap."
And Samuel said unto him, The LORD hath rent the kingdom of Israel from thee this day, and hath given it to a neighbour of thine, {that is} better than thou.
And the Strength of Israel won’t lie or change His mind: He’s not a dude who needs to repent.
And also the Strength of Israel will not lie nor repent: for he {is} not a man, that he should repent. {Strength: or, Eternity, or, Victory}
Then Saul said, "I messed up: but please honor me now in front of the elders and Israel, and roll back with me so I can worship the Lord your God."
Then he said, I have sinned: {yet} honour me now, I pray thee, before the elders of my people, and before Israel, and turn again with me, that I may worship the LORD thy God.
So Samuel bounced back to Saul, and Saul was like, "I worship the Lord, no cap."
So Samuel turned again after Saul; and Saul worshipped the LORD.
Then Samuel was like, "Yo, bring Agag the Amalekite king over here." Agag rolled up all soft, saying, "Bet, the worst is over."
Then said Samuel, Bring ye hither to me Agag the king of the Amalekites. And Agag came unto him delicately. And Agag said, Surely the bitterness of death is past.
And Samuel said, "Since your sword made women childless, your mom’s gonna be childless too." Then Samuel straight-up chopped Agag into pieces before the Lord in Gilgal.
And Samuel said, As thy sword hath made women childless, so shall thy mother be childless among women. And Samuel hewed Agag in pieces before the LORD in Gilgal.
After that, Samuel dipped to Ramah, and Saul went back to his spot in Gibeah.
Then Samuel went to Ramah; and Saul went up to his house to Gibeah of Saul.
Samuel didn’t see Saul again until he passed away, but he was lowkey sad for him. The Lord was like, "I kinda regret making Saul king over Israel, fr."
And Samuel came no more to see Saul until the day of his death: nevertheless Samuel mourned for Saul: and the LORD repented that he had made Saul king over Israel.