1 Samuel Chapter 12
So Samuel was like, “Yo Israel, I peeped your vibes and set up a king for you, no cap.”
And Samuel said unto all Israel, Behold, I have hearkened unto your voice in all that ye said unto me, and have made a king over you.
Now peep this, the king’s rollin’ with you; I’m just old and gray, and my sons are here too. I’ve been with you since the jump.
And now, behold, the king walketh before you: and I am old and grayheaded; and, behold, my sons {are} with you: and I have walked before you from my childhood unto this day.
Call me out in front of the Lord and his crew: whose ox or donkey did I swindle? Who have I wronged or taken advantage of? If I took any bribes, I’ll make it right.
Behold, here I {am}: witness against me before the LORD, and before his anointed: whose ox have I taken? or whose ass have I taken? or whom have I defrauded? whom have I oppressed? or of whose hand have I received {any} bribe to blind mine eyes therewith? and I will restore it you. {bribe: Heb. ransom} {to blind...: or, that I should hide mine eyes at him}
They replied, “You didn’t wrong us or take anything, fam. You ain’t jacked nothin’ from nobody.”
And they said, Thou hast not defrauded us, nor oppressed us, neither hast thou taken ought of any man's hand.
He was like, “The Lord is your witness, and so is his anointed today. You didn’t find anything in my hands.” They responded, “Facts, he’s a witness.”
And he said unto them, The LORD {is} witness against you, and his anointed {is} witness this day, that ye have not found ought in my hand. And they answered, {He is} witness.
Samuel reminded the people, “It’s the Lord who leveled up Moses and Aaron, bringing your fam outta Egypt.”
And Samuel said unto the people, {It is} the LORD that advanced Moses and Aaron, and that brought your fathers up out of the land of Egypt. {advanced: or, made}
So hold on a sec, I gotta break down the solid moves the Lord pulled for you and your ancestors.
Now therefore stand still, that I may reason with you before the LORD of all the righteous acts of the LORD, which he did to you and to your fathers. {righteous...: Heb. righteousnesses, or, benefits} {to: Heb. with}
When Jacob hit up Egypt and your fam cried out to the Lord, He sent Moses and Aaron to rescue them and settle them here.
When Jacob was come into Egypt, and your fathers cried unto the LORD, then the LORD sent Moses and Aaron, which brought forth your fathers out of Egypt, and made them dwell in this place.
But when they forgot the Lord, He let them get got by Sisera and the Philistines, and they had to bounce back.
And when they forgat the LORD their God, he sold them into the hand of Sisera, captain of the host of Hazor, and into the hand of the Philistines, and into the hand of the king of Moab, and they fought against them.
They hollered at the Lord, saying, “We messed up, ditched the Lord, and worshiped other gods. Please save us from our enemies, and we’ll serve you.”
And they cried unto the LORD, and said, We have sinned, because we have forsaken the LORD, and have served Baalim and Ashtaroth: but now deliver us out of the hand of our enemies, and we will serve thee.
The Lord sent Jerubbaal, Bedan, Jephthah, and Samuel to rescue you from all your enemies, and you were chilling.
And the LORD sent Jerubbaal, and Bedan, and Jephthah, and Samuel, and delivered you out of the hand of your enemies on every side, and ye dwelled safe.
When you spotted Nahash, the king of the Ammonites, rolling up on you, you were like, “Nah, we want a king,” while the Lord was already your king.
And when ye saw that Nahash the king of the children of Ammon came against you, ye said unto me, Nay; but a king shall reign over us: when the LORD your God {was} your king.
So here’s the king you picked and wanted! The Lord placed a king over you, periodt.
Now therefore behold the king whom ye have chosen, {and} whom ye have desired! and, behold, the LORD hath set a king over you.
If you fear the Lord, serve Him, and listen up, and don’t act sus, then you and your king can keep it lit following the Lord your God.
If ye will fear the LORD, and serve him, and obey his voice, and not rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then shall both ye and also the king that reigneth over you continue following the LORD your God: {commandment: Heb. mouth} {continue...: Heb. be after}
But if you ignore and act up, then the Lord’s hand will be against you, just like it was with your ancestors.
But if ye will not obey the voice of the LORD, but rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then shall the hand of the LORD be against you, as {it was} against your fathers.
So stand and watch this epic thing the Lord’s gonna pull off right in front of you.
Now therefore stand and see this great thing, which the LORD will do before your eyes.
Ain’t today the wheat harvest? I’ll call on the Lord, and He’ll send thunder and rain so you can see how sus you are for asking for a king.
{Is it} not wheat harvest to day? I will call unto the LORD, and he shall send thunder and rain; that ye may perceive and see that your wickedness {is} great, which ye have done in the sight of the LORD, in asking you a king.
So Samuel called on the Lord, and bam, He sent thunder and rain that day; everyone was shook and feared the Lord and Samuel.
So Samuel called unto the LORD; and the LORD sent thunder and rain that day: and all the people greatly feared the LORD and Samuel.
The people told Samuel, “Pray for us to the Lord our God so we don’t die; we’ve piled on our sins by asking for a king.”
And all the people said unto Samuel, Pray for thy servants unto the LORD thy God, that we die not: for we have added unto all our sins {this} evil, to ask us a king.
Samuel said, “Chill, you’ve done all this bad stuff, but don’t stray from following the Lord; serve Him with all your heart.”
And Samuel said unto the people, Fear not: ye have done all this wickedness: yet turn not aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart;
Don’t go chasing after empty things that won’t help or save you; they’re just sus.
And turn ye not aside: for {then should ye go} after vain {things}, which cannot profit nor deliver; for they {are} vain.
The Lord won’t ditch His people for His name’s sake because He’s vibing with making you His crew.
For the LORD will not forsake his people for his great name's sake: because it hath pleased the LORD to make you his people.
Plus, God forbid I stop praying for you; I’ll school you on the good and right way, fr.
Moreover as for me, God forbid that I should sin against the LORD in ceasing to pray for you: but I will teach you the good and the right way: {in: Heb. from}
Just fear the Lord and serve Him for real with all your heart; think about all the dope things He’s done for you.
Only fear the LORD, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great {things} he hath done for you. {how...: or, what a great thing}
But if you keep doing wicked stuff, you and your king are gonna be toast.
But if ye shall still do wickedly, ye shall be consumed, both ye and your king.