1 Chronicles Chapter 11
So all of Israel showed up to David in Hebron, saying, "Yo, we’re your fam, no cap."
Then all Israel gathered themselves to David unto Hebron, saying, Behold, we {are} thy bone and thy flesh.
Back in the day when Saul was running things, you were the one leading Israel, and God was like, "You’ll nourish my squad and be the GOAT among them."
And moreover in time past, even when Saul was king, thou {wast} he that leddest out and broughtest in Israel: and the LORD thy God said unto thee, Thou shalt feed my people Israel, and thou shalt be ruler over my people Israel. {in time...: Heb. both yesterday and the third day} {feed: or, rule}
So the elders of Israel came to the king at Hebron; David made a covenant with them before God, and they anointed him king over Israel, just as God told Samuel.
Therefore came all the elders of Israel to the king to Hebron; and David made a covenant with them in Hebron before the LORD; and they anointed David king over Israel, according to the word of the LORD by Samuel. {by: Heb. by the hand of}
Then David and all of Israel made their way to Jerusalem, which is also known as Jebus, where the Jebusites were hanging out.
And David and all Israel went to Jerusalem, which {is} Jebus; where the Jebusites {were}, the inhabitants of the land.
The Jebusites were like, "You can’t roll in here." But David was a beast and conquered the stronghold of Zion, which is the city of David.
And the inhabitants of Jebus said to David, Thou shalt not come hither. Nevertheless David took the castle of Zion, which {is} the city of David.
David threw down the challenge, saying, "Whoever takes out the Jebusites first gets to be the head honcho." Joab, Zeruiah's son, was the first in and snagged the top spot.
And David said, Whosoever smiteth the Jebusites first shall be chief and captain. So Joab the son of Zeruiah went first up, and was chief. {chief: Heb. head}
Living it up in the castle, they just called it the city of David.
And David dwelt in the castle; therefore they called it the city of David. {it: that is, Zion}
He built up the city all around, starting from Millo, while Joab handled the rest.
And he built the city round about, even from Millo round about: and Joab repaired the rest of the city. {repaired: Heb. revived}
David kept grinding, 'cause the Lord of hosts was totally backing him.
So David waxed greater and greater: for the LORD of hosts {was} with him. {waxed...: Heb. went in going and increasing}
These are the main homies who vibed with David, getting strong alongside him in his kingdom and all of Israel, making him king, just as God had said about Israel.
These also {are} the chief of the mighty men whom David had, who strengthened themselves with him in his kingdom, {and} with all Israel, to make him king, according to the word of the LORD concerning Israel. {strengthened...: or, held strongly with him}
Yo, peep this; David had some mad rizz with his crew; Jashobeam, the captain, took out three hundred peeps at the same time. Straight up lit.
And this {is} the number of the mighty men whom David had; Jashobeam, an Hachmonite, the chief of the captains: he lifted up his spear against three hundred slain {by him} at one time. {an Hachmonite: or, son of Hachmoni}
Next up was Eleazar, Dodo's son, the Ahohite; dude was one of the top three, for real.
And after him {was} Eleazar the son of Dodo, the Ahohite, who {was one} of the three mighties.
He was hanging with David at Pas-dammim while the Philistines were ready to scrap over some barley; everyone else bounced.
He was with David at Pasdammim, and there the Philistines were gathered together to battle, where was a parcel of ground full of barley; and the people fled from before the Philistines. {Pasdammim: also called, Ephesdammim}
They held their ground, defended the turf, and took down the Philistines; the Lord came through clutch.
And they set themselves in the midst of {that} parcel, and delivered it, and slew the Philistines; and the LORD saved {them} by a great deliverance. {set...: or, stood} {deliverance: or, salvation}
Three of the thirty captains cruised down to the rock to David, while the Philistines were posted up in the Rephaim valley.
Now three of the thirty captains went down to the rock to David, into the cave of Adullam; and the host of the Philistines encamped in the valley of Rephaim. {three...: or, three captains over the thirty}
David was chilling in the cave, and the Philistine crew was vibing at Bethlehem.
And David {was} then in the hold, and the Philistines' garrison {was} then at Bethlehem.
David was really wanting that sweet water from the Bethlehem well near the gate, saying, "Man, I need that!"
And David longed, and said, Oh that one would give me drink of the water of the well of Bethlehem, that {is} at the gate!
The three broke through the Philistines, grabbed water from the well by the gate, and brought it back to David; but he was like, "Nah, I can't drink this," and poured it out for the Lord.
And the three brake through the host of the Philistines, and drew water out of the well of Bethlehem, that {was} by the gate, and took {it}, and brought {it} to David: but David would not drink {of} it, but poured it out to the LORD,
He said, "My God, I can’t do that! Should I drink the blood of these guys who risked everything? They brought this with their lives." So he didn’t drink it. These three were straight up legends.
And said, My God forbid it me, that I should do this thing: shall I drink the blood of these men that have put their lives in jeopardy? for with {the jeopardy of} their lives they brought it. Therefore he would not drink it. These things did these three mightiest. {that have...: Heb. with their lives?}
Abishai, Joab's bro, led the trio; he took down three hundred with his spear, gaining mad respect.
And Abishai the brother of Joab, he was chief of the three: for lifting up his spear against three hundred, he slew {them}, and had a name among the three.
Out of the three, he was the most lit; he was their captain, but he didn’t make it to the top three, no cap.
Of the three, he was more honourable than the two; for he was their captain: howbeit he attained not to the {first} three.
Benaiah, son of Jehoiada, was a total savage; he dropped two lion-like dudes from Moab and even conquered a lion in a pit on a snowy day.
Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, the son of a valiant man of Kabzeel, who had done many acts; he slew two lionlike men of Moab: also he went down and slew a lion in a pit in a snowy day. {who had...: Heb. great of deeds}
He also took down this giant Egyptian dude, like five cubits tall, who had a spear that was basically a tree; Benaiah rolled up with a staff, snagged the spear, and took him out with his own gear.
And he slew an Egyptian, a man of {great} stature, five cubits high; and in the Egyptian's hand {was} a spear like a weaver's beam; and he went down to him with a staff, and plucked the spear out of the Egyptian's hand, and slew him with his own spear. {great...: Heb. measure}
Benaiah did all of this and earned some major cred with the three mighty ones.
These {things} did Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and had the name among the three mighties.
He was dope among the thirty but didn’t crack the top three; David put him in charge of his squad.
Behold, he was honourable among the thirty, but attained not to the {first} three: and David set him over his guard.
The brave homies in the armies included Asahel, Joab's bro, and Elhanan, son of Dodo from Bethlehem.
Also the valiant men of the armies {were}, Asahel the brother of Joab, Elhanan the son of Dodo of Bethlehem,
Shammoth the Harorite and Helez the Pelonite were also part of the crew.
Shammoth the Harorite, Helez the Pelonite, {Shammoth: or, Shammah} {Harorite: or, Harodite} {Pelonite: or, Paltite}
Ira, son of Ikkesh the Tekoite, and Abi-ezer the Antothite were holding it down too.
Ira the son of Ikkesh the Tekoite, Abiezer the Antothite,
Sibbecai the Hushathite and Ilai the Ahohite were also repping.
Sibbecai the Hushathite, Ilai the Ahohite, {Sibbecai: or, Mebunnai} {Ilai: or, Zalmon}
Maharai the Netophathite and Heled, son of Baanah the Netophathite, were doing their thing.
Maharai the Netophathite, Heled the son of Baanah the Netophathite, {Heled: or, Heleb}
Ithai, son of Ribai from Gibeah, repping the Benjamins, and Benaiah the Pirathonite, no cap.
Ithai the son of Ribai of Gibeah, {that pertained} to the children of Benjamin, Benaiah the Pirathonite,
Hurai from the Gaash streams, and Abiel the Arbathite, just vibing.
Hurai of the brooks of Gaash, Abiel the Arbathite, {Hurai: or, Hiddai} {Abiel: or, Abialbon}
Azmaveth the Baharumite, and Eliahba the Shaalbonite, both total legends.
Azmaveth the Baharumite, Eliahba the Shaalbonite,
The sons of Hashem the Gizonite, and Jonathan, son of Shage the Hararite, were straight up beasts.
The sons of Hashem the Gizonite, Jonathan the son of Shage the Hararite, {Hashem: or, Jashen}
Ahiam, son of Sacar the Hararite, and Eliphal, son of Ur, keeping it real.
Ahiam the son of Sacar the Hararite, Eliphal the son of Ur, {Sacar: or, Sharar} {Eliphal: or, Eliphelet} {Ur: or, Ahasbai}
Hepher the Mecherathite, and Ahijah the Pelonite, just chilling.
Hepher the Mecherathite, Ahijah the Pelonite,
Hezro the Carmelite, and Naarai, son of Ezbai, lit crew.
Hezro the Carmelite, Naarai the son of Ezbai, {Hezro: or Hezrai} {Naarai: or Paarai the Arbite}
Joel, brother of Nathan, and Mibhar, son of Haggeri, always popping off.
Joel the brother of Nathan, Mibhar the son of Haggeri, {the son...: or, the Haggerite}
Zelek the Ammonite, and Naharai the Berothite, Joab's armor-bearer, straight bussin'.
Zelek the Ammonite, Naharai the Berothite, the armourbearer of Joab the son of Zeruiah,
Ira the Ithrite, and Gareb the Ithrite, no cap, they’re the squad.
Ira the Ithrite, Gareb the Ithrite,
Uriah the Hittite, Zabad the son of Ahlai, just vibing together, no cap.
Uriah the Hittite, Zabad the son of Ahlai,
Adina the son of Shiza the Reubenite, a captain of the Reubenites, rolling with thirty homies, pop off!
Adina the son of Shiza the Reubenite, a captain of the Reubenites, and thirty with him,
Hanan the son of Maachah, and Joshaphat the Mithnite, just chilling and flexing.
Hanan the son of Maachah, and Joshaphat the Mithnite,
Uzzia the Ashterathite, Shama and Jehiel, the sons of Hothan the Aroerite, squad goals fr.
Uzzia the Ashterathite, Shama and Jehiel the sons of Hothan the Aroerite,
Jediael the son of Shimri, and Joha his bro, the Tizite, keeping it real.
Jediael the son of Shimri, and Joha his brother, the Tizite, {son...: or, Shimrite}
Eliel the Mahavite, Jeribai, and Joshaviah, the sons of Elnaam, and Ithmah the Moabite, all vibing together.
Eliel the Mahavite, and Jeribai, and Joshaviah, the sons of Elnaam, and Ithmah the Moabite,
Eliel, Obed, and Jasiel the Mesobaite, just a vibe check, no doubt.
Eliel, and Obed, and Jasiel the Mesobaite.